Prison

#1
Anyone on here got any experience of prison? I'm not really bothered if it's visiting people or having actually served some time inside.

I only ask as I wondered what it was like inside. You see a lot of documentaries detailing in great detail of what it's like in American jails. But don't really get the same level of insight into what ours are like. I'm not really interested in hearing peoples opinions how they are too soft from people who have only gotten as close as reading the daily mail.

Waiting incoming abuse, but I really don't give a shit. If I assume for every 50 **** posts calling me a ****, I'll get 1 decent one I will probably be about right.
 
#3
So where is April then?
 
#5
Ask Buscuits!
 

FORMER_FYRDMAN

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Tell them you had the balls to start this thread on ARRSE and there's a strong chance you'll be left alone.
 
#8
Open plan lounge with tea and coffee and soft drinks available, well the one I worked in did, and if you so much as looked at the visitors they got all offended.
pc gone mad I tell you.

edited to add ..I assume your asking from a visiting point of view.
 
#9
I had a mate who worked in the vehicle workshop of a certain YOI.

Everything was fine, except the lock-downs, the constant looking to who's nicking/bullying/intimidating who or what for the whole duration of the 'lesson'. It didn't help having lazy work colleagues verbally abusing and belittling the inmates (kids remember)

What got to him was a young subversant lad who, for protection, would suck off anyone or take it ***********, if he thought it made his life easier. He even offered my mate a blow job to keep an eye out for him. He turned down his offer, although as I don't know if he had wholesome and plump lips (the lad not my mate) I don't know if that was a crap decision. :)
 
#10
If you want the absolute truth, i.e. the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, you could do worse than acquainting yourself with the definitive 20th century text on the matter. It comes in 3 volumes: Hell, Purgatory and Heaven, and is the work of Baron Archole of Weston-Super-Mare. And it's true.
 
#11
A chap I know had a prisons job with Crapco and he packed it in as he wanted **** all to do with the drugs/phone/booze/porn trafficking that the other staff were knee deep in.
 
#16
I should imagine it depends on your background.

If you are, a soft as shite never been in a fight previously law abiding middle aged accountant who suddenly goes down for a first offence it must be terrifying - at least to start with.

But for many others it's better than what they have on the outside.

Horses for courses, really.
 
#17
Worked in most of them 20 years ago. Maidstone and preston had very nice gardens. Smell of cabbage every where. Portand prison had lovely views and a 19th centuary parade ground to die for.
Mate of mine who was very naughty and quite hard shat himself at the prospect of another stretch.
 
#19
No idea but when I was at school there was an absolute **** of a lad from a family of lowlifes who was always getting into serious bother for stealing, assault, drugs, bullying etc along with his brothers, he got sent down not long after we finished school back in '98 and apparently got bummed within an inch of his life in Hull prison and needed surgery to fix his arse, just like that scene in American History X. Most of us who had been on the receiving end of his behaviour at school were chuffed with the news. Can't say I'd like to end up in jail put it that way!
 
#20
No idea but when I was at school there was an absolute **** of a lad from a family of lowlifes who was always getting into serious bother for stealing, assault, drugs, bullying etc along with his brothers, he got sent down not long after we finished school back in '98 and apparently got bummed within an inch of his life in Hull prison and needed surgery to fix his arse, just like that scene in American History X. Most of us who had been on the receiving end of his behaviour at school were chuffed with the news. Can't say I'd like to end up in jail put it that way!
Blue watch, blue watch shun. We need a trouser-bowser to post #20
 

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