Prince Albert and Country Gal. The Wedding

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by TheIronDuke, Oct 5, 2012.

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  1. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer

    As you may be aware from The ARRSE Insiders Newsletter, Prince Albert proposed to Country Gal last night and she agreed. To marry a man who does not really have a proper job.

    Fuck me. As if life was not hard enough?

    Right. Arrangements. Let us sort it. I can do flowers although at this time of year they may be limp.

    We will need a couple of E series Mercs outside the church. Three lads to each car. Keep the L/LH seat for the victim. Or the 'Wedding Guest'. And a spooky old bastard who can walk through the congregation muttering "Is it safe?".

    The ARRSE wedding. We're hiring.
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  2. You're only jealous.
  3. Detmold Drunk for the pissed up old uncle slouched in the corner????
  4. Can I be a bridesmaid?

    Oh, and can me, Bootiful and Scoobs sing their first dance for them? We're WELL good at singing.
  5. I can organise the stag do over here but you pay for your own flights, bastards. What strippers would you like? Honduran seems to be de rigeur at the moment.
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  6. Schaden

    Schaden LE Book Reviewer

    Bet it won't be nearly as popular as the Bare Knuckle fight with Hagar vs all comers and a BBQ with boiled eggs.
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  7. Reception; Big shed or 18X96? ( medical unit! we can do it!)
  8. Grownup_Rafbrat

    Grownup_Rafbrat LE Book Reviewer Good Egg (charities)

    I presume Mr. The Duke is going to be the Vicar in this? Jarrod the Altar Boy? Members of the ARRSE Camping Club providing the marquee (well a row of tents and campervans) for the Reception? I'm sure we can provide a cake similar to the one given to dingerr too.

    Just a matter of finding the organist, I think?
  9. Catering for the Reception; I believe she's partial to a late night kebab mit chilli sauce, so that's a start. I'll speak to Akmed and see if he can do a group discount on a spit of Donner meat.
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  10. I want to be a bridesmaid too!

    Ill to table decorations/centrepieces too
  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I am disgusted and jealous! I thought I was the prospective marital winner. He proposed to me three times before I accepted, and left me pregnant. Now what am i going to tell the kids?

    Can I be the vicar? Or the verger? Or the virgin?
  12. TheIronDuke

    TheIronDuke LE Book Reviewer


    But I am not jealous. I wish Prince Albert every happiness on his Council Estate. With the cheap bint who stole him from me.
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  13. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I have an organ she can use! Will need the cobwebs blown off first though, and a good pumping.
  14. Can I be the guest that turns up half cut, gets progressively drunker as the day goes on, until vomiting over the bride and passing out during the soup course, requiring someone to carry me out, and dump me around the back by the bins to sleep it off?
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  15. I'll have to rush out and buy a new hat for the big day.

    Anyone know where this fine gent shops and where I can get matching shoes?

    View attachment 93038
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