pretntious twats

#1
Is coffee the new wine?
I had occasion to go to town today and so I thought I'll have a coffee!
so into the cafe I trundle and ask for a coffee, well the person behind the counter asked what I wanted? coffee says I,well the next stage was the friggin rigmarole about what type?
Just a cup of coffee I said ..thinking to myself 2sugars and milk type of thing,next thing all these different names were suggested and lo and behold the next thing this effeminate guy who introduced himself as the barrista(wtf?) started reeling names off.
I gave up and bought a cup of tea and stood outside for a smoke.
bring back the greasy spoon I demand!

by the way ..the said cafe is brand new and ultra up your arse type of place.
 
#4
Stick to Nescafe its easier and cheaper and you can fart and smoke while youre drinking it
 
#7
Is coffee the new wine?
I had occasion to go to town today and so I thought I'll have a coffee!
so into the cafe I trundle and ask for a coffee, well the person behind the counter asked what I wanted? coffee says I,well the next stage was the friggin rigmarole about what type?
Just a cup of coffee I said ..thinking to myself 2sugars and milk type of thing,next thing all these different names were suggested and lo and behold the next thing this effeminate guy who introduced himself as the barrista(wtf?) started reeling names off.
I gave up and bought a cup of tea and stood outside for a smoke.
bring back the greasy spoon I demand!

by the way ..the said cafe is brand new and ultra up your arse type of place.
You been incarcerated for the last few years? Even McDonalds now sells cappuccino FFS.
 
#11
Ever tried buying a mobile phone? Having had pretty much every model type since 1998, including a smart jobby, all I wanted was a phone that was a phone only with text.
I was treated like someone who'd never owned a fucking phone before; lots of patronizing explanations of having the latest whatever.

Ended up getting one from Amazon and the battery lasts a week unlike the other bell/ whistle heaps of (very expensive) shit.
 
#12
#14
Ever tried buying a mobile phone? Having had pretty much every model type since 1998, including a smart jobby, all I wanted was a phone that was a phone only with text.
I was treated like someone who'd never owned a fucking phone before; lots of patronizing explanations of having the latest whatever.

Ended up getting one from Amazon and the battery lasts a week unlike the other bell/ whistle heaps of (very expensive) shit.
Exactly!!
It seems to be the way of everything you try to buy today,...some 18 yr old expert talking down to you.
the last phone I bought I had to explain ,all I want is something I can say 'hello--insert conversation--goodbye' thats all I want !
I dont need camera video and some fucking device to check on some soapstar.
 
#15
Coffee is for Yanks and poofs.
 
#17
30 years ago, before the Internet was invented, I bet some cunts just like you were having a near identical conversation about the complex differences between 'red' and 'white' wine.

Embrace the future you old bastards,


Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
thirty years ago, wine was like cider, the drink for tramps. besides it gives you a sore arse! well the last bottle Jimmy gave me did.
 
#18
I first encountered this sort of mullarkey when I was working in New York. The closest to Nescafe with milk and two sugars is, apparently, "American Standard".

My "Listen, you Daygo bastard, just give me a coffee" didn't go down too well.
 
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