Pressurising pensioners to have sex?

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by 1stgulfmac, Aug 12, 2013.

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  1. Van, hammer and black nasty jokes in 5... 4... 3...
  2. I used to know an old boy called Hector from Blackpool, and he used to come down to London every 6 months or so to go and see some West End shows. We used to meet him and have dinner.

    We were chatting one night and he put his hand in his pocket to get something - the movement caused something in his jacket pocket to peep out - it was a box of Durex.

    The old bugger was 84!
  3. He could've just been using them for a posh wank...

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  4. I've fucking seen full on granny porn. The image of an 80 odd year old slut, complete with runny fried egg tits and moth eaten cunt fellating overweight middle aged sad fuckers, will remain in the wank bank till my final days.

    Posted from the ARRSE Mobile app (iOS or Android)
    • Like Like x 1
  5. I have recently learned that worthers origionals only work one way...
  6. Miss Ironside. Enough said.
  7. Virginia Ironside, 69?
    Is that her age or her favorite position?
    • Like Like x 1
  8. The WI is a hotbed of promiscuity as any true deviant knows!
  9. I'm really glad I read this thread, I really enjoyed it, if it pleases your honour I'd like to have five instances of me liking the French taken into consideration.....
  10. Helen Mirren

    Thread closed!
    • Like Like x 3
  11. She has a more than passing resemblance to the "thing" jarrod keeps linking to.
  12. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Gardening? What a stereotype! Ok, I was at a garden centre earlier today, but only to buy citrus oil for the large candle thingies on bamboo sticks that go in garden. And for lunch. ( garden centre, not bamboo whatsits) And I bought the bamboo stuff in Poundland. Fancy that, only a quid each for them, and so many other useful bits there. Anyway, where was I ? Oh yes, pensioners being pressured to have sex.
    Not me. Bloody wish someone would pester me. And there is more to life than gardening and Werthers. Oh, that reminds me, bought some lovely boiled sweets in the garden centre, sour plums. Of course, mine are after all this time too.

    And I bought some lovely sand coloured trousers and a polo shirt at the market, will go lovely with my suede shoes.

    Bugger. Is that the time? Got to feed the cats, and take the dog out before it gets too late.
    • Like Like x 1
  13. He told me he got them for his Dad
    • Like Like x 2
  14. I was on Golf course today,didn't get pestered once.Even after pulling out my banana.To boost energy levels.Obviously.