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Press release: Foreign Secretary condemns reports of North Korean nuclear tests

#1
Ministry of Defence said:
“It appears that North Korea carried out a nuclear test at 11.57KST today. I strongly condemn this development, which is a violation of UN Security Council Resolutions 1718, 1874 and 2087. North Korea’s development of its nuclear and ballistic missile capabilities poses a threat to international and regional security. Its repeated provocations only serve to increase regional tension, and hinder the prospects for lasting peace on the Korean Peninsula.
“UN Security Council Resolution 2087 committed the Security Council to take significant action in the event of a further launch or nuclear test by North Korea. The UK will begin urgent consultations with Security Council partners calling for a robust response to this latest development. North Korea has a choice to make: it can either engage constructively with the international community, cease developing its nuclear and ballistic missile programmes and return to negotiations, or face increasing isolation and further action by the Security Council and the international community.”



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#2
Cernunnos RSS: Cernunnos carried out a sucessful detonation of a Federal .375 H&H cartridge fitted with a 17.8g Nosler style partitioned warhead at 00:35 hrs CET. One casualty was reported, a young wild boar weighing 38 kilos, busy digging up mice in a snow covered field of winter barley, was left feeling a little peaky after the departure of both his lungs. A local farmer awakened by the blast was said to be "chuffed to ****!"
 
#3
0808hrs. Frau Slug scoffed some Oatsosimple and a cup of tea.

Planned the demise of the rest of ARRSE.

Kicked her telly.

Took Lemsips and thought "**** this, I'm back off to bed after Wild at Heart".

Stays in bed all day watching crap telly and ignoring her phone (again).

Wakes up in time for Easties and Holby City, forgets to put her bins out (again) and wonders if she should watch The Sweeney on DVD.

The End.

By Dale aged 4 and 3 quarters.
 
#4
Have you tried putting lemsip on pancakes because it's pancake day! Alternatively mix some whiskey into maple syrup and pour over them. NomNom.
Think your self lucky your not north Korean. They have neither lemsip or pancakes.
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#6
Wordsmith RRS:

-- North Korea tests Nuke.
-- Rest of world froths at mouth.
-- North Korea takes fcuk all notice.

(Will also apply to next 4 tests...)
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#12
12.08. Two 40' boxes left Port of Tyne Ro-Ro bound for Estonia. Cargo manifest available for inspection but we know where your kids go to school so ****ing watch it.

Koreans? Spare me.
 

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