Press Cliches

#1
Having seen a story in the 'forces favourite' today I was reminded about some of the cliches that always seem to arise whenever the forces are reported on. I won't link to the story as it involves an ongoing case with a serving Officer but I will quote some of the cliches:

The Sun said:
After quaffing fine wines and brandies
...seems to crop up whenever Officers have been involved. Even in this case at an all ranks party!

The Sun said:
...so long as the female soldier/sailor/air(wo)man/officer doesn't have 2 heads they automatically qualify as being 'sexy'.

They generally include liberal amounts of 'high flying young officer'. Although that could be seen to be in bad taste considering previous news stories.

Any unit of the Armed Forces can be described as elite rergardless of their role.

Does anyone else have any press cliches that appear with marked regularity in any stories involving the forces?
 
#2
Trouble is.... this 1 looks like an alien in real life .... but admitidly doesn't look the worst in photos.
 
#3
All the scabloids use them. They appeal to the lowest common denominator and are slowly killing the English language. The Armed Forces are always referred to as Our Brave Boys (used when we are liberating swathes of Johnny Foreigner Land or killing Terry by the droves).
 
#4
I've just realised another 2:

Not doing their homework about nomenclature - for any Sun reporters reading it is the Royal Logistic Corps - note the absence of an extra 's' stuck on the end of Logistic! If they can't cope with this they have no hope with half of the amalgamated units.

Referring to a Regiment as if it belongs to any old buckshee 2Lt, Cpl etc - they may well be a member of the Regt but it is not theirs!

I know these aren't strictly cliches but they wind me up as much.
 
#6
The Sun is a complete fcuking disaster and a stain on what was once this fine country, they can turn a story of a bird suddenly falling dead out of the sky and landing on an MP's car to - "wacko extremists plots assanination on leading MP, bond style MI6 agents save the day"
then underneath a picture of the bird on the car with caption "disaster...dead bird"
They are twats of the highest order and for arguments sake if extremists wanted to cripple our country they would only have to target the SUN.

:p
 
#7
everyone is a "hero" upon entering theatre regardless of deployment or contribution..."barrier up, barrier down..."
 
#9
Cuddles said:
everyone is a "hero" upon entering theatre regardless of deployment or contribution..."barrier up, barrier down..."
They also serve, who only stand and wait, Cuddles old chap. :D
 
#10
any CVR(T) = tank.
 
#11
"The deadly AK47 can fire 600 bullets in a min"

allways my fav tabloid quote, wish i could get me one of those 600 round mags, and a titanium AK that wont melt firing them all off in one burst. :roll:
 
#12
Good grief. Where do I begin?

a. Any affair between two people who work or live together is only a "major sex scandal" if it happens in the Armed Forces.

b. Anyone with two years National Service (or whatever) who's found guilty of some misdemeanour fifty years later is always described as "a former soldier" (seldom a former bus driver, office manager, journalist or council worker).

c. All military aircraft are flown by the RAF, ignoring such thing as RN SAR helos and Harriers and AAC helos. As for the FAA Sea Harriers and helos in the Falklands, they never even existed.

d. All UK service personnel in Iraq and Afghanistan are Army frontline infantry despite the fact that there are more Naval Service personnel in Stan than the other two Services put together and all three services provide enormous CAS, Armour, Arty, Comms, Int, Medical, Logs, CIMIC, EOD/IEDD and local training support.

e. All AFVs are "tanks".

f. One of our regiments is called the "Royal Anglicans".

g. A Major General outranks a Lieutenant General.

h. Brigadier and Bombardier are interchangeable, as are Cdre and Cdr, and Lt Cdr and Lt Col.

i. The Captain of a warship automatically assumes the rank of Captain.

j. All Army Captains are "Senior Officers".

k. All Royal Navy personnel are "Jolly Matelots" or "Drunken Sailors!".

l. Royal Marines are "Marines" à la USMC (or even worse - "Soldiers").

m. All Royal Navy WOs and Senior Rates (CPOs and POs) are "RN Officers", especially if the story is salacious.

n. Her Majesty's Ship 'Nonesuch' is often described as "the HMS 'Nonesuch'".

o. All nuclear submarines carry nuclear weapons and make you glow in the dark if you go within five miles of them.
 
#13
I recall a RM being referred to as a "Navy soldier" once...

Ref. point c on Dunservin's list...this is true unless of course the Duke of York is mentioned, at which point "Falklands war hero Navy helicopter pilot" will be mentioned several times.
 
#16
Civvy_Shot said:
DrStealth said:
"The deadly AK47 can fire 600 bullets in a min"

allways my fav tabloid quote, wish i could get me one of those 600 round mags, and a titanium AK that wont melt firing them all off in one burst. :roll:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNAohtjG14c

Looks like Cletus already tried...
yeh i'v seen that, look right at the end, last reload, i'm sure its cooking off the rounds as soon as he lets the bolt go forward. love the way the furnitues on fire too :D cletus forgot his gloves.
tested to destruction.
 
#19
The Sun describes the mongs that buy it as "Readers". If only some of them could.
 
#20
Cuddles said:
everyone is a "hero" upon entering theatre regardless of deployment or contribution..."barrier up, barrier down..."
Too right.

Scum Story: A "Senior Officer" was spared severe PTSD when one of our boys from an "elite" regiment dove under a falling AFV prohibitor during an intense windstorm. The modest hero who doesn't want to be named said "Tuff army kit and training saved him not me".

Proper story: A Lance Corporal was spared a headache when trooper Spanky let a guard barrier fall accidently on purpose. Pvt Spanky said "the twots lucky, He's a right fookin knob". It was slightly windy at the time.
 
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