Prepping for the Kung Flu Apocalypse (The not entirely serious thread)

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
Right! I've got the obligatory week-or-two's worth of tinned goodies in case of quarantine. But, if it really goes tits up, I reckon I've got enough survival gear to keep me going indefinitely.

Various choppy and cutty things; fire-making tools; water filtration gizmos that should last until I get a still set up; and, a decent sized collection of non-device-dependant gentleman's periodicals (grot mags).

As far as food goes: I've got a some 70's era combat kit and all the right stuff to go full-on Robin Hood. As luck would have it I'm far enough out into zur cuntryzoide to be within 20 minutes of deer territory.

There's a zoo within a days hike, so after I've caught my breath (so to speak) I plan a raid to capture some monkey butlers, and a leopard to be my hunting companion (or a pack of wolves - I haven't decided yet).

What am I missing?
Braincells!
 
Female company
I think if the world goes to $h!t who the fcuk wants a whiney greetin faced bitch in tow. Much easier and more peaceful to stick with a bit of rape, pillage and plunder.
 
I have rivers, full of trout.
Sheep for meat, plenty of fresh water, coal for fuel, easy enough to build shelter, beech and pine woods.

The sea isn't that far away either.
Coal?

COAL!!!!!!!

Greta wants a word with you. Zombie apocalypses are no excuses for burning fossil fuels formed by previous mass extinction events.

And your forestry management had damn well better be sustainable with those beeches and pines you plan to kill.
 
True. Might want to set up a breeding program too. Chip gargling vegans are meant to be both tender and tasty. Like KFC without the cruelty.
 
I'm enjoying all the worry around it. I just cough a couple of times on the train and say "I must have picked this up on my recent trip to Beijing".

Loads of room.
 

kimmi851

War Hero
I have bows and arrows for both of us, a larder stocked with enough booze to last Ollie Reed for a month. I can't imagine anything else is required.
 
The only obvious course of action is to hit B&M/Home Bargains - whichever does the really cheap tins of bacon grill, baked beans, hot chocolate and oats.
Then sit back with a nice a mug of tea, luke warm from a norgie and sit back and wait for this whole thing to blow over.
 

Statistics

Old-Salt
Right! I've got the obligatory week-or-two's worth of tinned goodies in case of quarantine. But, if it really goes tits up, I reckon I've got enough survival gear to keep me going indefinitely.

Various choppy and cutty things; fire-making tools; water filtration gizmos that should last until I get a still set up; and, a decent sized collection of non-device-dependant gentleman's periodicals (grot mags).

As far as food goes: I've got a some 70's era combat kit and all the right stuff to go full-on Robin Hood. As luck would have it I'm far enough out into zur cuntryzoide to be within 20 minutes of deer territory.

There's a zoo within a days hike, so after I've caught my breath (so to speak) I plan a raid to capture some monkey butlers, and a leopard to be my hunting companion (or a pack of wolves - I haven't decided yet).

What am I missing?
Tubigrip and Brufen.
 
Right! I've got the obligatory week-or-two's worth of tinned goodies in case of quarantine. But, if it really goes tits up, I reckon I've got enough survival gear to keep me going indefinitely.

Various choppy and cutty things; fire-making tools; water filtration gizmos that should last until I get a still set up; and, a decent sized collection of non-device-dependant gentleman's periodicals (grot mags).

As far as food goes: I've got a some 70's era combat kit and all the right stuff to go full-on Robin Hood. As luck would have it I'm far enough out into zur cuntryzoide to be within 20 minutes of deer territory.

There's a zoo within a days hike, so after I've caught my breath (so to speak) I plan a raid to capture some monkey butlers, and a leopard to be my hunting companion (or a pack of wolves - I haven't decided yet).

What am I missing?
Well the monkeys , chimpanzee variety, will at some point probably rip your arms arms off before eating you, the leopard & wolves will once hungry enough see you as prey & likewise feast on your skinny carcass.

What you need to do is set up some form of cult, pseudo religion, type thing, get friendly with some not so bright steroid munches & get them to do the dirty whilst you reap the rewards. Big like any religion come to think of it.

Oh & weapons, you need weapons & suitable ammo. Get down the nearest tank regiment & grab as many chieftains & assorted weaponry as you can along with fuel. In fact the Barracks needs to be your new HQ. Use steroid boys as gate guards. You'll be your very own war lord in no time.
 
I've got 23 days worth of Tanglefoot.
Twice that of single malt whisky.
Enough food to get me through at least a month, though I shall get bored of a diet which doesn't include fresh vegetables.
Milk would run out quickly, not a real problem, it'll have to be Tanglefoot instead of milk on my cornflakes.
Not really a problem.
 
I've got 23 days worth of Tanglefoot.
Twice that of single malt whisky.
Enough food to get me through at least a month, though I shall get bored of a diet which doesn't include fresh vegetables.
Milk would run out quickly, not a real problem, it'll have to be Tanglefoot instead of milk on my cornflakes.
Not really a problem.
You ever really tried beer on your cereal, it really does not work

Much better to keep long life milk or tins of evaporated milk around
 
You ever really tried beer on your cereal, it really does not work

Much better to keep long life milk or tins of evaporated milk around
Does that mean whisky wouldn't work either. I have heard of whisky being added to porridge.
To be honest if I was serious about this I should buy in some porridge anyway.
 
Got this the other day:

C53D6D08-87D4-4A16-BDCA-E31D2A4EC98D.jpeg
 

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