Prepping for the Kung Flu Apocalypse (The not entirely serious thread)

Pfffft!
Once I establish myself as the local chieftain, the woman will throw themselves at me for protection.
...and procreation!
unfortunately we all know how unreliable the Chieftain was... your power pack will probably seize up and you’ll dump coolant everywhere within the first half hour of use.
 

Chef

LE
I fail to see the problem.

I have a mobile phone and Deliveroo on speed dial.

Sorted.
 
if the amazon prime system goes down then I'll be dead within a week and if it doesn't and a driver gives me the plague then I'll be dead in week anyway either way its not looking good.

seriously though has anyone on here invested in any reasonably priced self contained breathing apparatus just in case
 

endure

GCM
if the amazon prime system goes down then I'll be dead within a week and if it doesn't and a driver gives me the plague then I'll be dead in week anyway either way its not looking good.

seriously though has anyone on here invested in any reasonably priced self contained breathing apparatus just in case

I've got a pair of lungs...
 
I wonder if they'll start being a bit more robust about how they deal with people flocking to our shores illegally, seeing as its reaching 'pandemic' status.
 

endure

GCM
What size?
What colour is more appropriate.
Anyway I have my local Chinese on speed dial.....


.....wait, I haven't thought this through have I? Never mind there's a good Italian in town...no wait!
 
You could build a cage for the east European big issue ladies and make some soylent green to sustain you, the other sources of protein will dry up quickly due to overpopulation.
Read what you just wrote. Overpopulation is a resource controllable with Soylent Green production.
 
Some 'Strayan science chap concluded that coronavirus can't tollerate alcohol! He must have had public funds to test this, what a guy. My survival kit will include tinnies of Fosters, a good single malt and a Samurai Sword (to kill Chineeeeeese)!
If the virus can't tolerate booze it must be a full-on hermer.
 
Some 'Strayan science chap concluded that coronavirus can't tollerate alcohol! He must have had public funds to test this, what a guy. My survival kit will include tinnies of Fosters, a good single malt and a Samurai Sword (to kill Chineeeeeese)!
If the virus can't tolerate booze it must be a full-on hermer.
You're taking the piss too far when you mention Fosters.
 
You're taking the piss too far when you mention Fosters.
I would choose Doom Bar or Mr Bathwick's Brain Wobbler, but i doubt the science dude used either for his tests. It's all about scientific integrity.

ETA; Mr Bathwick's Brain Wobbler doesn't actually exist but is representative in name of the sort of beer I like these days.
 
I would choose Doom Bar or Mr Bathwick's Brain Wobbler, but i doubt the science dude used either for his tests. It's all about scientific integrity.

ETA; Mr Bathwick's Brain Wobbler doesn't actually exist but is representative in name of the sort of beer I like these days.
He's a fake. He can't be a real Australian Scientist as no-one down here drinks Fosters.
 
He's a fake. He can't be a real Australian Scientest as no-one down here drinks Fosters.
For accuracy I didn't read that it was Fosters specifically, any Strayan beer would do.
 
I appreciate that they're made in Burton, but surely all such beers are as 'lovely' as carling(with a deliberate small c) - how much terre noire does burning koala add to a beer??
Anyway Single Malt is clearly the cure, ask any Centarian, buggers always state their longevity is down to a tot every day.
 

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