A man and his pregnant wife are sitting down watching TV, when the wife suddenly has a craving for snails. so she says "can you go down the shop for me and get some" he says yes. As hes about to go out the door the wife says to him "make sure you dont go in the pub, and come straight home" so he promises her that he wont. He goes to the shop, buys the snails, then on the way back he sees his old mate who invites him for a quick drink in the pub. at first he replies "no i cant"... but eventually hes pursuaded untill he says "go on then ill have just the one" One turns into two, two into three etc. untill he can barely stand up. After a long walk he gets to his door, and collapses. he looks up, sees the wife standing over him looking pretty anger. so he looks down and says "come on lads were nearly home".