Pregnancy Scare

#1
Well - this is the story ...

Despite using the Pill and condoms, the current lady Onfire has had two mornings of being sick ... and is now terrified it means she is pregnant. we have decided that there is no keeping it in the WORST case scenario ... and she is having a test run through the doctor - so in a day or two the answer should all be clear.

I am very keen to be supportive and proactive - so my question to you is this: should i kick her in the stomach or push her down the stairs??


too sick ... im almost sorry - but Im living it and a giggle would make me feel better ... im not really going to do it
 
#3
Hot bath and a large bottle of gin used to be the way!!
 
#4
Hot bath and brandy

OR

go ahead with pregnancy & sell child to some random celebrity who dioesn't want to get fat themself.
 
#5
Three words: IS IT MINE?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#6
loubella said:
Hot bath and brandy

OR

go ahead with pregnancy & sell child to some random celebrity who dioesn't want to get fat themself.
Suggest an e-mail to either Madonna or Angelna Jolie, they seem to be trying to collect a full set.
 
#8
Get her to shag some bloke with a blobby knob! The body's defences will go into auto abort mode.

I may know someone who can help in this regard!
 
#9
Loubella is onto a winner. Have it then flog it!

Possible suggestions are:

Medical research
Buy One Get One Free Adoption Schemes
MDN......
 
#11
sebcoe said:
cernunnos said:
Get her to shag some bloke with a blobby knob! The bodies defences will go into auto abort mode.

I may know someone who can help in this regard!
I thought you got rid of your galloping knob rot.....after shagging the Lezza? :oops:
Do keep up seb he has been with loads since then..
 
#12
onfire said:
Well - this is the story ...

Despite using the Pill and condoms, the current lady Onfire has had two mornings of being sick ... and is now terrified it means she is pregnant. we have decided that there is no keeping it in the WORST case scenario ... and she is having a test run through the doctor - so in a day or two the answer should all be clear.

I am very keen to be supportive and proactive - so my question to you is this: should i kick her in the stomach or push her down the stairs??


too sick ... im almost sorry - but Im living it and a giggle would make me feel better ... im not really going to do it
Why not. Stop being a poof and fill her in, you know it's the best thing to do and she'll love you more for it.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Kicking her down the stairs is the best option, but I would suggest getting some mates around first.

Place her on the top step, facing backward down the stairs, hoof her in the stomach and get your mates to hold up score cards for artistic impression and style.

Ooooh, no, stop meself, I'm off to hell in a handcart!

Alternatively, run away with her sister and leave your missus to make the decisions.
 
#14
Have you no long term planning? Have it and as soon as it's born, smack it on the head with a claw hammer just hard enough to retard the higher brain functions without killing.

You now have a ready supply of donor organs for your old age.
 
#15
Buy a morning after pill and then put it through her food. Problem solved.

She won't notice untill it is too late. The side effects of the Morning After pill are feeling sick and drowzy. She's feeling like that allready!
 
#16
Take her on a surprise holiday to Chernobyl......

If it manages to be born, you can sell it to a freak show as 'Lobster Boy/Girl'.....
 
#18
Praetorian said:


Thats the badger!
It was that, the flying helmet and the wet celery that got him in this position on the first place!
 
#20
Piece of string and a hungry ferret should do the job nicely
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads