I was told to go to the QM's for a long stand, although not as thick as the person sniggering tell me to do it, hence why I went to the Naafi for 30 min's and came back and told him what he wanted to hear.
I think this, along with threads about abusing children directed at Cadet Force AIs, is all that's allowed on the site these days.
FFS don't try & have a sensible debate because the thread will be infested by:
(a) Internet hardmen.
(b) Right wing lunatics, causing the threads to be closed.
(c) Members who shout "racist" at anyone who dares criticise anyone of dusky hue, non-Christian background or overseas parentage.
(d) Ashie/Whet/Sven, although at least these people give us a laugh.
(e) Cadets & never-served Waltenkommandos.
Had a rather annoying 2nd Lt once who was getting on everyones t!ts and; being a) very newly commissioned and b) having won the sword of honour at Sandhurst was a bit up-himslef had ordered (not asked mind you) one of our NCO's to cook his meal for him while he was off doing 'important things'. Unfortunately, said NCO was suffering from rat-pack arrse at the time and so had some powder from the MO to 'help things along'! Said NCO put a weeks worth of senakot in Lt L-J's range stew and presented him with it. The next few days patrols and orders were punctuated by the shout of "OMG.....its coming again!" Followed by the thunder of tiny feet and, a few seconds later some rather bestial noises emanating from the nearest bush/ piece of cover Happy days
I can remember being on board an LSL in Calais harbour and my mate getting dicked to do the dixxies by some matelot cook when he got in the galley the sink was full of em so when said cook wandered off for a smoke my mate opened the portholes and threw the fecking lot out into the harbour job done !!
After a few beers one night in transit type accommodation a few colleagues and I had a bit of craic with an annoying bloke asleep in the room opposite. We crawled in tied paracord to his bed and threaded a fair bit more around the bottom of the other beds. We crawled back out taking the end of the cord that was tied to his bed under his door across the corridor and under our door. After a bit of pulling his bed started moving accross the room, we heard the screams of him waking up followed by the thump of him hitting the floor. You had to be there.