"Poundland" graves and memorials

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by vvaannmmaann, Feb 5, 2011.

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  1. Nothing new, people have been decorating grave sites for tens of thousands of years.
    When I pop my clogs I'm going to get a tree planted on top of me................. or I might go for a Danny, but I'll be naked and holding a pint.
  2. I found Danny slightly creepy. Quite funny how his mum says it looks more and more like him every day. What, lifeless and unable to talk back?

    Did have a chuckle at one of the comments though when they said that mum was in the china cabinet and he takes her out for a drive every now and then. Own up, which one of you fuckers wrote that?

  3. I wouldn't comment, but those effigies are just begging for some 'creative re-interpretation' by some bored, pissed squaddies. The 'meerkats of mourning', in particular, have got to be a pisstake.

    Helpfully, most of that tat seems to be plastic, sneak in one Guy Fawkes' Night and set it all alight.
  4. It was made in China, so maybe she means manky and with bits falling off.
  5. Feckin Hell Im going to have to show this link to my nearest and dearest. If they even consider such horrors on my grave then any cash I leave is going to a cats home!
  6. Danny was the only one I could accept, and that was bad enough. What has happened to British society over the last few years to make anyone think that this type of nonsense is a tasteful tribute to their deceased loved ones?

    I've yet to see any crap like this over here in Denmark, and I sincerely hope that I never do.

  7. Worse than these efforts are the roadside shrines, usually left by their chav mates following a Darwin-esque Citreon Saxo ploughing headlong into a tree. I do confess that on occassion, having made sure no one is looking. throwing the whole lot into the nearest hedge.

    Message to chav mourners, we don't care that your mate shuffled off his mortal coil, in fact I usually feel quite amused and satisfied that the gene pool has improved with your mates demise.
  8. Bloody hell. This has happened in the graveyard of a nearby church, with horrible poems and pictures of the deceased on headstones. Contrast this with the Victorian or even 1960s plots which have simple, elegant memorials without screaming their individuality and occupying half the graveyard with garish colours. What will people think of our generation in a hundred years?
  9. Ahh yes but the Victorians were just as bad in their own way, they just choose to carry about their person and show it off in their living rooms instead.

    Art Of Mourning: A resource for memorial, mourning, sentimental jewellery and art

    I think Lizzy Duke are missing out on a whole new niche market, chav mourning jewelery. Just imagine it, electroplated teeth charm braclets and those hideous gold clowns with real hair and eyes..
  10. you think ANY of that stuff will last 100years ?
  11. Had a look at the paper's report and had to chuckle, as anyone would, and it'll be fair game for Arrses's finest, because in some way its fcking funny. But not for the relatives. Thing is, what the feckin hells bells have decorated graves got to do with local councils' crusty narrow minded self important no-marks ? No doubt these local orifices have diversity officers, integration project teams, and all manner of wet fluffy gits sucking our council taxes. A fringe benefit of all this is that it's getting up councils' noses. Good.

    If I'd have thought of this when the missus miscarried all those years ago, I'd have done it myself. And twatted any objecting, bowler hatted council cunntychops over the head with me spade. But the article still makes me snigger.
  12. This one with a carving of Bart Simpson is pretty funny:


    On the other hand, I find the life-sized effigy of the young man in a track suit creepy and a waste of 8,000 nicker. Surely the family could have found a better use for that money? :?

  13. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    From the indispensable Daily Mash some time ago:
    The Daily Mash - Inventor Unveils All-In-One Portable Tragedy Shrine

    A BRITISH inventor has developed an all-in-one council estate tragedy shrine that can be erected within seconds of something 'sad' happening.
    The Portagrief weighs just two kilograms and comes pre-loaded with decaying tulips, a poorly-composed sympathy poem and a tatty-looking teddy bear.

    Inventor, Martin Bishop, said: "Within moments of something happening to somebody you've never met, you can share your fake sadness with friends, neighbours and the audience of Sky News.

    "It's the indispensable item for the childish, mal-educated grief-vampire who wants to appear really upset in as public a way as possible."

    The Portagrief will be offered in three basic models - the Executed Gangsta, the Teenage Traffic Accident and the Little Angel, which will include a card with the message 'yoos in hevin now'

    Edited to add: say what you like about the Taliban, but if they see tatty bits of cloth and other such stuff over a grave, of it comes, as it's (in their eyes) anti-islamic). Perhaps these decorated graves are a cunning part of a Govt-sponsored Talib-early-warning system? It's all a cunning MI5 Plot I tell you! :)
  14. Hahaha just had a massive barney with the sister in law about this, she objected to my off the cuff remarks about said topic. Told her I don't object to anyone griefing per se, but object to these tacky over the top shows of public mourning and likewise roadside shrines to splattered chav (which was actually what we were arguing about). Suggested that its akin to a neon sign flashing bazza got splattered on his moped here and that maybe she would like to erect one in their honour seeing how she feels so strongly about aforementioned stranger. Told her I was going to chuck the wreath in the hedge given the chance at which she had a massive sense of humour failure and said I was completely heartless! Silly cow.