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Post Boxing Day boredom:Wordplayfor the un-dumb

#1
This is stuff I wouldn't bother posting on such sites as MIL/ass.com since they are only trained by the US military to a grade 4 level..but, here, I figure it will be appreciated, at least in part by the ARRSEfolk who are, afterall, all alumnae and graduates of Gordonstoun and Eton, Oxford and Cambridge and by those from the ' other realms ' who have demonstrated their intelligence by actually finding this site on the internet..

The rules are simple.. take a familiar phrase or adage and insert just 1 extra letter to change the meaning into something humourous or ironic..

examples:

The business of America is Bushiness: Dubya's claim to imperial privilege

Would you like furies with that?: even fast food in Hades gets punished.

Good fencers make good neighbours: Zorro will protect me

Aye, there's the rube: It goes clear across Brooklyn, want it?- half price

The way of mall flesh: last minute Christmas shoppers

One man's meat is another man's poisson: In search of Omega 3

Flight of flight: decision making made easy for cowards

In vino veritass: Easy on the wine

Cast they bread upon the waiters: Getting service is hard in some restaurants

Where there's smoke there is fibre: Lighting up a cigarette takes guts these days.

You can't teach an old dog newt tricks: despite all efforts, fido couldn't grow a new tail

Don't hold your breatht: advithe to Janet Jackthon

More chaste less speed: You might want to start with flowers and chocolates first.

Hitting the snail on the head: quick solution to the hors d'oeuvres problem

warp is hell: slow her down, Scotty

the road to Shell is paved with good intentions: Oil companies get slammed for exploiting third world environments

Banker's dozen: exactly 11 after service charges

Your goose is crooked: Jack is jailed for passing out pyrite eggs as gold.

Let he who is without spin, cast the first stone: a politician should never accuse rivals of distortion.

He who laughs least, laughs best: proper etiquette at funerals

bald news travels fast: Why a guy loses his hair, people talk.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but
swords will never hurt me: popular misconception during the iron age.

Curiosity killed the chat: blabbing about people on the internet can get you flamed.

If you can't stand the wheat, get out of the kitchen: gluten intolerance, cost the baker his job.

okay.. back to my turkey leftovers, turkey sandwiches, turkey divan, turkey soup, turkey...
 
#2
Rocketeer said:
I figure it will be appreciated, at least in part by the ARRSEfolk who are, afterall, all alumnae and graduates of Gordonstoun and Eton, Oxford and Cambridge and by those from the ' other realms ' who have demonstrated their intelligence by actually finding this site on the internet..
Quite the snooty little soul who thinks too highly of himself methinks.
 
#6
Subtle, tongue-in-cheek humor is wasted on you two gits.

OldRedCap, my good fellow, weren't you complaining on another thread about people posting just to attack another poster and not adding anything of substance to the thread? :?

Off the top of my head:
Dude, where's my card?:Hallmark for the stoned.
 

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