possibly the worst film i've ever seen - "Thugs, Mugs and Dogs"

#1
i don't often post in this forum, but after watching a DVD last night i feel moved to warn fellow Arrsers.

Thugs, Mugs and Dogs is 143 minutes of my life i will never get back. however, i find that i can actually laugh at the waste of time that this cinematic experience provided - because it was so bad, it's almost compulsory viewing.

i've been out of the country for a while and not kept up with film releases. on impulse, walking past a DVD stand i bought this one with dave courtney on the cover, billed as "best british crime film since snatch".

i really don't know where to start. the plot is terrible. the writing is so poor that the actors seem embarrassed to be delivering some of their lines. of course, the "actors" include such (cinematic?) heavyweights as lisa riley.

the inept direction / writing includes everything from a farcical "chase" scene, which is a cross between tom and jerry and the keystone kops... there is a truly bizarre bit in the middle, where five girls - for no discernible reason - start doing a (poor) choregraphed dance routine, out of the blue. no rhyme, reason, explanation or relevance to the plot. (someone on IMDB suggested that one of them must be someone's girlfriend and they wanted to be in the film; it's the most likely explanation, i think).

some of the jokes are older than stonehenge ("give him a biscuit and he might let you")... yet the writer seems to think he is original and hilarious. it's hard to know which is worse - the script, or the rigidly wooden delivery from the leading characters.

the writer also appears to want to be crazy and outrageous, with bad guys making completely predictable jokes about a legless victim... and the funeral scene seems self-consciously attempting to be a bit "mad".

i could go on, but i don't want to spoil it for anyone tempted to view it in its awful entirety!

seriously, it's so bad, it's worth a watch. i am seldom conscious of things like script and direction when i'm watching a film, but this pile of shit forces you to wonder about those behind it.

when off-beat things happen from a good writer / director, they work. when some deluded fool deliberately tries to do these things, the result is something which you feel might have been written by a teenage boy and shot by an undergraduate in his first year of film studies.

seriously - one of the most utter shit films i've ever seen, but almost compelling viewing (once only) for all the wrong reasons.
 
#2
*cough*Dave Courtney*cough* nuff said
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#8
i don't often post in this forum, but after watching a DVD last night i feel moved to warn fellow Arrsers.

Thugs, Mugs and Dogs is 143 minutes of my life i will never get back. however, i find that i can actually laugh at the waste of time that this cinematic experience provided - because it was so bad, it's almost compulsory viewing.

i've been out of the country for a while and not kept up with film releases. on impulse, walking past a DVD stand i bought this one with dave courtney on the cover, billed as "best british crime film since snatch".

i really don't know where to start. the plot is terrible. the writing is so poor that the actors seem embarrassed to be delivering some of their lines. of course, the "actors" include such (cinematic?) heavyweights as lisa riley.

the inept direction / writing includes everything from a farcical "chase" scene, which is a cross between tom and jerry and the keystone kops... there is a truly bizarre bit in the middle, where five girls - for no discernible reason - start doing a (poor) choregraphed dance routine, out of the blue. no rhyme, reason, explanation or relevance to the plot. (someone on IMDB suggested that one of them must be someone's girlfriend and they wanted to be in the film; it's the most likely explanation, i think).

some of the jokes are older than stonehenge ("give him a biscuit and he might let you")... yet the writer seems to think he is original and hilarious. it's hard to know which is worse - the script, or the rigidly wooden delivery from the leading characters.

the writer also appears to want to be crazy and outrageous, with bad guys making completely predictable jokes about a legless victim... and the funeral scene seems self-consciously attempting to be a bit "mad".

i could go on, but i don't want to spoil it for anyone tempted to view it in its awful entirety!

seriously, it's so bad, it's worth a watch. i am seldom conscious of things like script and direction when i'm watching a film, but this pile of shit forces you to wonder about those behind it.

when off-beat things happen from a good writer / director, they work. when some deluded fool deliberately tries to do these things, the result is something which you feel might have been written by a teenage boy and shot by an undergraduate in his first year of film studies.

seriously - one of the most utter shit films i've ever seen, but almost compelling viewing (once only) for all the wrong reasons.
Yep, was subjected to Lesbian Vampire Killers on Friday, to make it worse, I was half-cut.

What was all that about then?
 
#9
is he notorious for shit films then? can't recall seeing him in anything else, off the top of my head.
Yup, he's done a few and he reckons himself to be a real thesp.

I recall a court case he was involved in years ago where he was worried a conviction would cost him his "Future Hollywood Career" as he earnestly put it, he was found not guilty and we await news of offers from Spielberg et al.

I watched his film Hell to Pay a while back, looked like it was filmed on cam, worth watching for all the reasons you stated in your first post.

Courtney is a ******* clown.
 
#10
left behind.

downloaded a torrent with left behind 1, 2 &3 assumed they were chuck style nam movies only to find they were incredibly bad rapture movies. I could get half way through number 1 so deleted the files forthwith

Left Behind: The Movie - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
That indeed looks truly ******* awful.

Well spotted.

PS For my money, the 1948 classic The Treasure of the Sierra Madre is my all time favourite for worst film ever.
It might have Bogart in it, but how Walter Huston missed the 1949 Academy Award for overacting very badly is a mystery to me.
 
#13
#15
I went to school just round the corner from there albeit a few years later I think its fair to say hes a legend in his own living room

lets just say someone who knows someone was involved in one of his arrests and he was very very compliant
 
#16
I went to school just round the corner from there albeit a few years later I think its fair to say hes a legend in his own living room

lets just say someone who knows someone was involved in one of his arrests and he was very very compliant
This was probably because he was being 'Lifted' so he could do one of his 'Informant Sessions' with the Met or Kent Ole Bill. He was very rarely (if ever) charged follwing his numerous arrests.

I have been informed that being a registered police informant was the pinnacle of his stellar criminal career.
 
#17
I have been informed that being a registered police informant was the pinnacle of his stellar criminal career.
also heard the same, mainly via the film posters he put up that were promtly daubed with the word GRASS by all and sundry

this occasion was more due to the MP5s pointed at him i would suspect
 
#18
also heard the same, mainly via the film posters he put up that were promtly daubed with the word GRASS by all and sundry

this occasion was more due to the MP5s pointed at him i would suspect
Even when he gets charged with something he always seems to walk away from it, wonder why?

Tell me, does he still live in the tasteful Chez Camelot in Plumstead or did they finally kick him out?
 
#19
to the best of my knowledge he still lives in camelot, not sure if he still has the murial as I'd heard a rumor he'd split from his wife- not sure how true that is though

shame as his wife and sisters in law are complete stars
 
#20
to the best of my knowledge he still lives in camelot, not sure if he still has the murial as I'd heard a rumor he'd split from his wife- not sure how true that is though

shame as his wife and sisters in law are complete stars
Ermm,........do you know the Mapp family?
 

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