Porridge Gun?

I think sending ciggies endless line of pointless threads to the hole sent him over the edge.

He was last seen running down the highstreet naked smeared in jelly.

Business as usual really.
I heard he went on a cruise with Lance Private Jonesy.
I went into my local department store and asked in homeware for a Porridge Gun. Please. Thanks etc. Got nothing but was asked to leave. What's going on here?
Porridge guns are now Section 5 firearms only...unless it's Ready-Brek, as defined by Home Office Guidance to the Police on Oat-Grain Sizes.
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