Poor UK education standards

Interesting hearing Boris mention there will be 'catchup' during the summer and beyond. I'll wait until Gavin Williamson gives more detail but I can't see any easy way of making that work which has a meaningful impact.
 
@Ortholith

I reckon...there is a clear corellation between the lack of educational standards in the UK and - the lack of 'correctly issued, and worn beards' amongst the teaching staff.

Once was a time when a geography teacher had a beard (of sorts)...backed up by a serious case of coffee-induced halitosis. Thing was though - when he told you about subsistance farming in South America or...cow's blood being mixed with milk and drunk, in Africa - you knew he was not talking shite. Probably in part due to him having breath like a Masai warrior's flipflop but, I digress...

I left school in 1992. I always remember standing outside the staff room door being the best place to get a major whack of second hand tobacco smoke. There were teachers with leather elbow patches...they tended to be the ones most respected also.

What is it like in the average UK school staff room nowadays? What are the dynamics? Any particular stereotypes in abundance?

We all know you are not a yoghurt-knitting sandal jockey but- tell us about what you have to endure.
Do headmasters get a clothing allowance that can only be drawn from the Burtons catalogue WInter 1984 collection?

We need answers and... you are having a few beers tonight so I will be disappointed if you don't get a bit fiesty :)
 
Send all the bullies to a special county bully school. The weaker ones are bullied and return to normal school with an awareness of how much of a c*nt they've been. Bit of a talking to helps the process along and a period of probation.

The strongest go to the regional school, then national.

Finally some sort of hunger games scenario.
The Running Man would be better
 
My bold There in a nutshell is the key to much of the problems with the young of today, both in a school environment and outside of it, which we see in the numerous gangs in most inner cities.
The benefit culture which sees having children as a means of getting numerous benefits from the state both within marriage but often nowadays by feckless slags who have numerous offspring from a variety of fathers who have zero input into said child's welfare/upbringing and almost never pay any costs associated with it.
There is no responsible male role model for them to follow which then allows the gangs to fulfil that role, leading to the lawlessness we see today.
All seem to think they are "entitled" to the state to provide for them in ALL ways rather than the family which SHOULD be the source of cash/guidance!
My mate left a good job at a bank to go into teaching.
Primary schools and all the new jobs where in a big inner city schools.
She soon realised if a bloke turned up, he got the job no matter what... Male role model
 

mcphee1948

War Hero
I listen a lot to LBC, and quite often someone calls in saying: "I'm a teacher", then speaks in awfully bad English.

Mutilated vowels, dropped "g"s from verb/present-participle endings, initial "h"s entirely disregarded, and glottal stops all over the place.

It's horrible. Did your teachers ever speak like that?
 

lextalionis

Old-Salt
@Ortholith

I reckon...there is a clear corellation between the lack of educational standards in the UK and - the lack of 'correctly issued, and worn beards' amongst the teaching staff.

Once was a time when a geography teacher had a beard (of sorts)...backed up by a serious case of coffee-induced halitosis. Thing was though - when he told you about subsistance farming in South America or...cow's blood being mixed with milk and drunk, in Africa - you knew he was not talking shite. Probably in part due to him having breath like a Masai warrior's flipflop but, I digress...

I left school in 1992. I always remember standing outside the staff room door being the best place to get a major whack of second hand tobacco smoke. There were teachers with leather elbow patches...they tended to be the ones most respected also.

What is it like in the average UK school staff room nowadays? What are the dynamics? Any particular stereotypes in abundance?

We all know you are not a yoghurt-knitting sandal jockey but- tell us about what you have to endure.
Do headmasters get a clothing allowance that can only be drawn from the Burtons catalogue WInter 1984 collection?

We need answers and... you are having a few beers tonight so I will be disappointed if you don't get a bit fiesty :)
It depends where you are. In the UK, there is a deeply earnest moralism that would view the prospect of smoking (let alone teachers smoking) with the horror with which a nun might contemplate Bacchanalian orgies. It's pleasant in a slightly sour, off-putting way; the bonhomie of a Baptist church, or any sect of the saved. Teachers are regularly "struck off" for things like turning up smelling of booze or being "unprofessional". A good suit is a must for men in most decent schools.

In France, it's more like the UK twenty to thirty years ago. I remember a bottle of rum nesting among the shelves in the Catholic boarding school in which I worked. Wine was served at lunch on occasion. Few of the teachers were qualified in the usual way (degree, with or without QTS, or the Frog equivalent). The boys were deeply cynical; the nuns terrifying (the most feared sanction); the priests mildly effeminate and otherworldly. And deeply political. My students could sustain conversations about Mers-el-Kebir and the various fascist potentates of twentieth century Europe.

Which was better? France was jollier, but less seemed to get done.
 

lextalionis

Old-Salt
I listen a lot to LBC, and quite often someone calls in saying: "I'm a teacher", then speaks in awfully bad English.

Mutilated vowels, dropped "g"s from verb/present-participle endings, initial "h"s entirely disregarded, and glottal stops all over the place.

It's horrible. Did your teachers ever speak like that?
My school had twice-yearly "speech" exams when one had to recite poetry and prose from memory to an examiner. Rather jolly!
 
It depends where you are. In the UK, there is a deeply earnest moralism that would view the prospect of smoking (let alone teachers smoking) with the horror with which a nun might contemplate Bacchanalian orgies. It's pleasant in a slightly sour, off-putting way; the bonhomie of a Baptist church, or any sect of the saved. Teachers are regularly "struck off" for things like turning up smelling of booze or being "unprofessional". A good suit is a must for men in most decent schools.
I'm starting to worry that my entire teaching experience has somehow been in a series of freak schools that bear no relation to the majority.

The school I went to as a kid it was well known which teachers smoked as they all went to 'buy lunch' at lunchtime. At least they had the sense to go further than one street so couldn't be spotted from the football field.

Previous school a bloke used to go 'for a drive to clear his head' at break and lunch. Current place someone came borrowing matches as they had forgotten theirs, never made it quite clear what they were for.

I've turned up for work a few times not drunk (my standards might be low but they do exist) but I was properly hungover. Telling the sixth form students to get on with it and not bother me worked well, even if they did use that as blackmail material to make me help with the school play.

The bit that gets me is the sheer ******* hypocrisy of people willing to judge me. One **** accused me of being unprofessional for turning up in a pair of ironed grey jeans (style error I will admit, it was quite a while ago) who was subsequently dismissed for inappropriate contact with students outside of school. I might be a bit of a scruffy ******** but I can at least follow the important rules and know right from wrong.

As for being unprofessional I am not willing to incriminate myself.
 
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lextalionis

Old-Salt
I'm starting to worry that my entire teaching experience has somehow been in a series of freak schools that bear no relation to the majority.

The school I went to as a kid it was well known which teachers smoked as they all went to 'buy lunch' at lunchtime. At least they had the sense to go further than one street so couldn't be spotted from football field.

Previous school a bloke used to go 'for a drive to clear his head' at break and lunch. Current place someone came borrowing matches as they had forgotten theirs, never made it quite clear what they were for.

I've turned up for work a few times not drunk (my standards might be low but they do exist) but I was properly hungover. Telling the sixth form students to get on with it and not bother me worked well, even if they did use that as blackmail material to make me help with the school play.

The bit that gets me is the sheer ******* hypocrisy of people willing to judge me. One **** accused me of being unprofessional for turning up in a pair of ironed grey jeans (style error I will admit, it was quite a while ago) who was subsequently dismissed for inappropriate contact with students outside of school. I might be a bit of a scruffy ******** but I can at least follow the important rules and know right from wrong.

As for being unprofessional I am not willing to incriminate myself.
When I've taught over here, it's mostly been in state schools down south and private schools. Maybe they are more earnest!

I can remember hushed rumours of smoking teachers in primary school in the 1990s. Otherwise, it was one of those well-kept secrets.
 
When I've taught over here, it's mostly been in state schools down south and private schools. Maybe they are more earnest!

I can remember hushed rumours of smoking teachers in primary school in the 1990s. Otherwise, it was one of those well-kept secrets.
All of mine have been state schools in the Aldershot Urban Area (which might explain a lot).
 

lextalionis

Old-Salt
Crikey, that sounds a bit over the top! I never heard of such "speech" exams. What sort of school did you go to, if you don't mind my asking?
A delightful, if quite impoverished little private school. Complete with holes in the wall! It furnished the present Speaker of the House of Commons. For most of its history, it was housed in a pair of houses knocked together, opposite Bolton Trinity Street station.
 
You speak Nepalese?
Nope, might have made it easier with some classes.

I always found the Nepalese kids worked bloody hard and made the most of opportunities (with the odd exception but the lazy ones tended to be the ones raised in the UK who were showing off to the new arrivals).

I'd rather have a class of Nepalese new arrivals than native white 'working class', at least the Nepalese kids wanted to better themselves.
 
Nope, might have made it easier with some classes.

I always found the Nepalese kids worked bloody hard and made the most of opportunities (with the odd exception but the lazy ones tended to be the ones raised in the UK who were showing off to the new arrivals).

I'd rather have a class of Nepalese new arrivals than native white 'working class', at least the Nepalese kids wanted to better themselves.
Completely correlates with what I've seen of that particular community.

Makes me sometimes wonder if we should make our yoof spend a bit of time having to tab for miles for water, and having to work the fields, just so they can actually go to school.
 

lextalionis

Old-Salt
Completely correlates with what I've seen of that particular community.

Makes me sometimes wonder if we should make our yoof spend a bit of time having to tab for miles for water, and having to work the fields, just so they can actually go to school.
Some of the little darlings deserve it. The French Catholic boarding school I worked at used to have manual labour for its students. They didn't tab for miles, but they did have to work in the potato patch!
 
Tell the truth. Did you lay a turd on the desk of the cúnt who had a pop at you for wearing the Devil's cloth?
No, I laughed. Then laughed a lot more when he got thrown out without a reference and is now working as a carpet salesman :)
 

lextalionis

Old-Salt
I love how 'Darlings' is teacher code for 'Cúnts'.
It's funny really. Over the years, I've found that teachers educated in the state-sector were quite hard and cynical (even in the private sector) but those educated in the private sector were somewhat nicer, if less worldly. Alas, the first attitude is now dominant in most places, if rather oddly balanced with the very visible earnestness already mentioned.
 

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