Poor Mans Body Armour / Armor / Stabproof / Bulletproof

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
I've seen a mildly pissed off hippo in the wild, would an irritated buffalo be anything like that?
An irritated buffalo would properly leg it from a mildly pissed off hippo....

BTW, how did you know that's what I called the ex.?
 
My only experience of lignum vitae is one place of work used to make bearings out of the stuff for use underwater and we had to store it in water filled metal bins to stop it splitting .
I suppose truncheons and the like being varnished it does not split .
( Unless you hit someone really , really hard :-D )

Scene: Night, early morning actually, around 03.00hrs after the clubs had kicked out. Deserted open plaza in pedestrianised town centre with a supermarket at one side <cough> ?esco. Three bored, young coppers having just done a sweep of the bus station for dossers and drunks ambling back to their areas. A couple of wild cats are seen to be wandering around.

Action: One of the young coppers (not me) notices the wild cats and decides to play the age old game of "Throw the truncheon at the cat" - it was an alternative to playing "how many cats can you get in a phone box". He sneaks forward towards the intended target and at around 10 to 15 yards distance lobs his truncheon at the cats. The truncheon sailed through the air twirling on its axis as it did so. You know sometimes when you throw a stick and it hits square on the end it sort of bounces and carries on its way? Well, the truncheon did that. Yup, it bounced and carried on twirling right into a BFO plate glass window of the supermarket, which (as the emperor was around for the night) it broke.

The alarms went off, three dazed young plods stood there like deer in headlights. Radios started to squawk, guilty looks all around and we all announced in turn that we had heard the alarm and were on our separate ways to investigate. The guilty party went into the supermarket to retrieve his truncheon see if he could spot any burglars and we loitered around outside. Keyholder was called, window company called, premises secured, sadly no burglars or yobbos were ever caught.
 

Londo

LE
Scene: Night, early morning actually, around 03.00hrs after the clubs had kicked out. Deserted open plaza in pedestrianised town centre with a supermarket at one side <cough> ?esco. Three bored, young coppers having just done a sweep of the bus station for dossers and drunks ambling back to their areas. A couple of wild cats are seen to be wandering around.

Action: One of the young coppers (not me) notices the wild cats and decides to play the age old game of "Throw the truncheon at the cat" - it was an alternative to playing "how many cats can you get in a phone box". He sneaks forward towards the intended target and at around 10 to 15 yards distance lobs his truncheon at the cats. The truncheon sailed through the air twirling on its axis as it did so. You know sometimes when you throw a stick and it hits square on the end it sort of bounces and carries on its way? Well, the truncheon did that. Yup, it bounced and carried on twirling right into a BFO plate glass window of the supermarket, which (as the emperor was around for the night) it broke.

The alarms went off, three dazed young plods stood there like deer in headlights. Radios started to squawk, guilty looks all around and we all announced in turn that we had heard the alarm and were on our separate ways to investigate. The guilty party went into the supermarket to retrieve his truncheon see if he could spot any burglars and we loitered around outside. Keyholder was called, window company called, premises secured, sadly no burglars or yobbos were ever caught.
I just hope the Emperors lesson was learnt and he never threw anything at a cat again :lol:
 
I just hope the Emperors lesson was learnt and he never threw anything at a cat again :lol:

The Emperors mocking laughter could be heard echoing off the precinct walls of the town centre for a good few nights after that incident.

The bus station had old abandoned terraced house on two sides of it before several years later it was finally redeveloped into office buildings. These places were a magnet for homeless dossers and wild moggies who always seemed to be fighting each other for possession of one empty house, or the other. At night the cats used to wander out of the bus station area into the town centre proper and attack the waste bins scavenging for food. We had sort of a remit from the council to shoo the fcukers and give them a hard time at night to try and stop them ransacking the bins after the pub and club crowd had gone home. Most people would be surprised at what goes on in their town centres at late o'clock, and the characters and creatures that come out to play.
 
I've seen a mildly pissed off hippo in the wild, would an irritated buffalo be anything like that?

More focused and a bit angrier. They're clever and have been known to stalk and kill hunters.
 
My only experience of lignum vitae is one place of work used to make bearings out of the stuff for use underwater and we had to store it in water filled metal bins to stop it splitting .
I suppose truncheons and the like being varnished it does not split .
( Unless you hit someone really , really hard :-D )

Can be done. Knew a chap who snapped one over a suspect!
 
Personally, I prefer a link of caribiners (them mountaineering things, however you spell it). Max 6 though.
These chaps?

AEB08316-22C4-4B70-9077-E0EB2FBC2861.jpeg
 

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