Pooh Etiquette

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Accidental_discharge, Jun 2, 2010.

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  1. I am aware that pooh is an often discussed topic, but I am always fiercely proud of my anal offerings. I do enjoy sharing my sphincter produce with all and sundry.

    At work this morning around the usual time, I felt the regular stirrings in my lower parts, and took walk to the bog. After much huffing and puffing, I was able to produce a rather delightful three ring gasper, in the most awfully fetching shade of mocha. Now, at work I never flush, I am always eager to let the next person experience my art nouveau. In this case I decided to knock one off and let my spaff decorate the head of my turd like a blob of Starbucks cream on an ice cappachino (I don't drink that puffy shit, just making a comparison). Obviously this is something we have all done, and I am sure you know where this is going.
    The problem lies in wiping my bum, now, I have pooh'd, and carefully spread my spaff artistically on the head of the turd, but if I deposit my soiled two ply in the pan, my labour will be for naught as it will be hidden from sight. So, do I;

    a) Put my shit stained two ply in the hand towel trash can.

    b) Leave it lined up on the top of the tank.


    c) I start work earlier than anyone else in the office, so should I hide it in someones desk draw? I am thinking of one cunt in particular.
  2. You're the Janitor, you're only fucking yourself about. :D
  3. Poo is brown smelly stuff.
    Pooh is either a rather irritating yellow ursine with a penchant for organic food larceny, or a noise of disapproval by a small asian boy on an advertisement for a bathroom fragrancing device.

    Edited to put the statement in context by adding a " :lol: ".
  4. Yes, since this occurred to me before I'd finished reading option b), so we can't both be wrong. There is also; d) tape it under cunt's desk and hope that it wipes onto cunt or cunt's clothes without them noticing.
  5. So this isn't about an accidental discharge then?
  6. I hope your user name and your favourite hobby aren't coincidental...
  7. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    What do we do with Tigger then?
  8. Badoom tish

    B&T Grab thy anorak the charabanc is waiting :D
  9. Gremlin

    Gremlin LE Good Egg (charities)

    Pooh is also a swan!
  10. [​IMG]

    which of those best describes it? more knowledge about the poo itself will determine what condition the bog paper is in, and thus what you should do with it.

    personally, mind, I'd put it in the kettle.
  11. I often take a camera phone photograph of the finished product (if a particularly good effort), then wipe and flush. The day can then be brightened by texting to random friends (girls are best) and getting the disgusted replies.
  12. How i chuckled. Does bring a whole new meaning to a cup of brown though. Then again i cant imagine it would taste much difference to rat pack brick dust :)
  13. Unless you can knock out a one four seven (a clean break) where there is no need for wiping, why not use your hand arabic stylee?
  14. You could always bluetooth it to the whole office
  15. 1. Go in early, remove your undercrackers and snail trail a brown one, all round the office floor. Wipe your now moist sticky brown eye with the days newspaper (scan sits vacant first). Refold paper and leave in prominent place in rest area/tea room. Replace undercrackers along with trousers, and return home to wash the news print from your primary exit orriface. Not before knocking one out into the communal pint of milk in the rest area/tea room.

    2. Seek new employment.