Poofballers new Fluffer Toys

Why, in the name of ARRSe, would a woman want to beat up her foof with a dildo named after a Chavballer?
If the plastic marvel were to be named after a manly sportsman I would understand, but soccer?
Or is it only the UK that recruits it's footballers from the ranks of weak, ugly, runts. And wonders why we always lose...
Ladies, shun this rubbish from the sausage munchers. Get down to Anne Summers and ask for an Ancient Mariner™

It's made almost entirely of plastic
It's deeply wrinkled
It has a leathery exterior
It goes on and on
It makes obscene noises when turned on

Who could wish for more?

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