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Poo in clingfilm

#1
Just watched Bear Grylls and that Miranda bird on discovery channel. He says they would poo in clingfilm and pass it round as a hand warmer. Now, recce, I
happy with the poking (sts) but passing it round? Bear victim of a SAS wind-up or is it me?
 
#2
Artistic licence maybe for the benefit of a TV audience? Recounting how he shat into clingfilm and held onto it himself mostly likely doesn't sound as good.
 
#3
I tended to just thrust my hands down the front of my trousers.

Much less hassle. If Andy McNab wants to warm his hands he will have to get to the back of the line.
 
#6
Just watched Bear Grylls and that Miranda bird on discovery channel. He says they would poo in clingfilm and pass it round as a hand warmer.
It is a lot simpler to wear a pair of gloves. The first thing you should consider when going out in the cold is to dress appropriately. I would have thought it would have made more sense to pack an extra pair of gloves instead of a roll of cling film.

Honestly, the more I hear about this bacon grills bloke, the more he comes across as a TV celeb knobjockey...

Lofy Wiseman must be laughing his socks off.

Rodney2q
 
#7
I haven't got a clue what "them" do to keep their hands warm but I always thought if you have cold hands, wear gloves. If they are still cold, stick them in your pockets. If it's so cold that don't do the trick, try wacking them under your armpits. Smelly but not as smelly or as messy as crapping in a bit of cling film.
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#8
Surely he can't expect to be taken seriously?! Has his supposedly devout Christianity tipped him over the edge? Did he compare it to the Sacrament, or the Loaves and Fishes, or some other equally lurid fantasy?
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#9
^. He's a bible thumper? You might be onto something with the loaves and fishes there. Maybe he's trying to magically convert his turds into bread?
 
M

Mark The Convict

Guest
#10
Yes apparently he's a godbotherer* in addition to becoming a parody of himself, judging by the OP.

*there was a feature article about him a while ago in The Courier-Mail, the alleged newspaper. I didn't read it.
 
#15
It is a lot simpler to wear a pair of gloves. The first thing you should consider when going out in the cold is to dress appropriately. I would have thought it would have made more sense to pack an extra pair of gloves instead of a roll of cling film.

Honestly, the more I hear about this bacon grills bloke, the more he comes across as a TV celeb knobjockey...

Lofy Wiseman must be laughing his socks off.

Rodney2q

Wiseman had his daft moments too. He used to teach that, in order to throw tracking dogs off your scent, you should tie a dead hedgehog or similar to a bit of string and drag it along behind you to hide your scent trail.

In reality, if you do that you are causing a massive scent trail that even the most poorly trained tracking dog could follow. The dog wondering all the while why you are towing a dead animal behind you.

The simplest way to keep your hands warm is to use the buddy buddy system and hold your mates penis. If he likes it, it will grow to fill your hands and get even warmer. Of course there may be subsequent consequences and a price to pay.
 
#16
This eejit would loose more body heat with a bare bum crapping in the woods than he would get back by holding his own shite.

So many times I have had to tell people that his skills are bollocks and only for the camera. Half of the time spent teaching our survival class is debunking this arsehole.
 
#18
I arrested a vagrant once who had decided that the best way to keep his feet warm was to dump in his socks. It had gone hard and crusty by the time I took his shoes off to search him, but smelled just as bad. I asked him if it had worked and he said yes, for about 3 minutes, then it just made walking difficult.
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#19
This eejit would loose more body heat with a bare bum crapping in the woods than he would get back by holding his own shite.

So many times I have had to tell people that his skills are bollocks and only for the camera. Half of the time spent teaching our survival class is debunking this arsehole.
Man paste is warm.
 

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