Politically Correct Job Titles.

Discussion in 'Jobs (Discussion)' started by Cutaway, Jun 30, 2010.

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  1. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    Everything seems to have been changed to suit the sensitive souls who claim to know what is best for all, but I saw one on a site Google ad today that seems to take the biscuit.

    As far as I'm aware it's only the Scandy Porn Kings that have Leos in theatre but then I'm no tankie so that may well be incorrect.
    Anyway the ad intrigued me enough to look further into the job and the link read:

    Is a panzer now a "Horizontal Directional Drilling" item of plant ?
    Now I don't mind the term but is this being done just to please the rabbit folk ?

    Has anyone found a better PC name for something we'd consider pretty normal ?
  2. Optical Enhancement Agent

    Window cleaners mate :)
  3. Environmental Technician - the blokes who work at the rubbish dump/tip, which is now called the 'Civic Amenity Centre.
  4. Seen it advertised a couple of years ago. Materials Spreader = Painter. Shit you not.

  5. Sanitary engineer - Toilet cleaner
  6. Not so much PC as totally ****:

    Combat Human Resources Specialist = Clerk
  7. Here's a few more :D

    1. Beverage Dissemination Officer - Barman
    2. Colour Distribution Technician - Painter & Decorator
    3. Customer Experience Enhancment Constultant - Shop Assistant
    4. Domestic Technician - Housewife
    5. Education Centre Nourishment Consultant - Dinner Lady
    6. Highway Environmental Hygienist - Road Sweeper
    7. Field Nourishment Consultant - Waitress
    8. Five a Day Collection Operative - Fruit Picker
    9. Front Line Customer Support Facilitator - Call Centre Worker
    10. Gastronomical Hygiene Technician - Dish Washer
    11. Mass Production Engineer - Factory Worker
    12. Media Distribution Officer - Paper Boy
    13. Mobile Sustenance Facilitator - Burger Van Worker
    14. Mortar Logistics Engineer - Labourer
    15. Product Replenishment Officer - Shelf Stacker
    16. Recycling Operative - Bin Man
    17. Sanitation Consultant - Toilet Cleaner
    18. Subterranean Fossil Fuel Engineer - Miner
    19. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator - Window Cleaner
    20. Vehicle Restoration Engineer - Panel Beater
  8. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator its also been called. I should know as i used to be one :D
  9. Sex Care Provider - whore.
  10. A friend of mine, who runs a market intelligence team for an agency, rejoices under the title "Global Head of Knowledge". Now the lass is bright but that is one hell of a job title IMHO. Her enormous breasts and long blonde hair however often confuse people, who explain their sensitive business case/proposal/pricing structure to her because she's only a blondey bunnykins...

    With the commercial instincts of a Rottweiler who passed out first from Harvard Business School! I trained her you know...
  11. information & entertainment troubleshooter = cable guy
  12. It's funny but I think they've just mixed the links up between two jobs.

    Does make me wonder what they want horizontal drilling for on an airfield but I suppose it's to install new cable runs under the runway etc.
  13. Cutaway

    Cutaway LE Reviewer

    You not fully operational yet Legs ?
  14. a receptionist - director of first impressions
  15. The misuse of "engineer" is what grips my Father's shit. He studied for a very long time & spent many hours on railway & port construction sites to gain this title.

    In no way is the bloke who fixes a Sky dish on the side of your house a "satellite engineer". In Der Vaterland it is forbidden to use the name engineer unless one is professionally qualified...