Politically Correct Job Titles.

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#1
Everything seems to have been changed to suit the sensitive souls who claim to know what is best for all, but I saw one on a site Google ad today that seems to take the biscuit.


Leopard Mechanics Needed
Experience with Leopard Tanks? We are hiring for ISAF Camps In AF
As far as I'm aware it's only the Scandy Porn Kings that have Leos in theatre but then I'm no tankie so that may well be incorrect.
Anyway the ad intrigued me enough to look further into the job and the link read:

JOBS

HORIZONTAL DIRECTIONAL DRILLING (HDD) OPERATOR FOR AFGHANISTAN


Copenhagen Contractors A/S is looking for a skilled, proactive and self-motivated operator for our Horizontal Directional Drilling (HDD) plant at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan.
Is a panzer now a "Horizontal Directional Drilling" item of plant ?
Now I don't mind the term but is this being done just to please the rabbit folk ?

Has anyone found a better PC name for something we'd consider pretty normal ?
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
#6
Not so much PC as totally ****:

Combat Human Resources Specialist = Clerk
 
#7
Here's a few more :D

1. Beverage Dissemination Officer - Barman
2. Colour Distribution Technician - Painter & Decorator
3. Customer Experience Enhancment Constultant - Shop Assistant
4. Domestic Technician - Housewife
5. Education Centre Nourishment Consultant - Dinner Lady
6. Highway Environmental Hygienist - Road Sweeper
7. Field Nourishment Consultant - Waitress
8. Five a Day Collection Operative - Fruit Picker
9. Front Line Customer Support Facilitator - Call Centre Worker
10. Gastronomical Hygiene Technician - Dish Washer
11. Mass Production Engineer - Factory Worker
12. Media Distribution Officer - Paper Boy
13. Mobile Sustenance Facilitator - Burger Van Worker
14. Mortar Logistics Engineer - Labourer
15. Product Replenishment Officer - Shelf Stacker
16. Recycling Operative - Bin Man
17. Sanitation Consultant - Toilet Cleaner
18. Subterranean Fossil Fuel Engineer - Miner
19. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator - Window Cleaner
20. Vehicle Restoration Engineer - Panel Beater
 
#8
Gungythree said:
Optical Enhancement Agent



Window cleaners mate :)
Transparency Enhancement Facilitator its also been called. I should know as i used to be one :D
 
#10
A friend of mine, who runs a market intelligence team for an agency, rejoices under the title "Global Head of Knowledge". Now the lass is bright but that is one hell of a job title IMHO. Her enormous breasts and long blonde hair however often confuse people, who explain their sensitive business case/proposal/pricing structure to her because she's only a blondey bunnykins...

With the commercial instincts of a Rottweiler who passed out first from Harvard Business School! I trained her you know...
 
#11
information & entertainment troubleshooter = cable guy
 
#12
Cutaway said:
Everything seems to have been changed to suit the sensitive souls who claim to know what is best for all, but I saw one on a site Google ad today that seems to take the biscuit.


Leopard Mechanics Needed
Experience with Leopard Tanks? We are hiring for ISAF Camps In AF
As far as I'm aware it's only the Scandy Porn Kings that have Leos in theatre but then I'm no tankie so that may well be incorrect.
Anyway the ad intrigued me enough to look further into the job and the link read:

JOBS

HORIZONTAL DIRECTIONAL DRILLING (HDD) OPERATOR FOR AFGHANISTAN


Copenhagen Contractors A/S is looking for a skilled, proactive and self-motivated operator for our Horizontal Directional Drilling (HDD) plant at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan.
Is a panzer now a "Horizontal Directional Drilling" item of plant ?
Now I don't mind the term but is this being done just to please the rabbit folk ?

Has anyone found a better PC name for something we'd consider pretty

normal ?
It's funny but I think they've just mixed the links up between two jobs.

Does make me wonder what they want horizontal drilling for on an airfield but I suppose it's to install new cable runs under the runway etc.
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#13
Legs said:
Not so much PC as totally ****:

Combat Human Resources Specialist = Clerk
You not fully operational yet Legs ?
 
#15
The misuse of "engineer" is what grips my Father's shit. He studied for a very long time & spent many hours on railway & port construction sites to gain this title.

In no way is the bloke who fixes a Sky dish on the side of your house a "satellite engineer". In Der Vaterland it is forbidden to use the name engineer unless one is professionally qualified...
 
#16
Cuddles said:
A friend of mine, who runs a market intelligence team for an agency, rejoices under the title "Global Head of Knowledge". Now the lass is bright but that is one hell of a job title IMHO. Her enormous breasts and long blonde hair however often confuse people, who explain their sensitive business case/proposal/pricing structure to her because she's only a blondey bunnykins...

With the commercial instincts of a Rottweiler who passed out first from Harvard Business School! I trained her you know...
Mmmm...... head, Mmmm....... and with big tits & blond hair, Mmmm..... I think I will have to lie down & rest while I think about that, Now where did I put the tissues ? Mmm :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#17
EX_STAB said:
Cutaway said:
Everything seems to have been changed to suit the sensitive souls who claim to know what is best for all, but I saw one on a site Google ad today that seems to take the biscuit.


Leopard Mechanics Needed
Experience with Leopard Tanks? We are hiring for ISAF Camps In AF
As far as I'm aware it's only the Scandy Porn Kings that have Leos in theatre but then I'm no tankie so that may well be incorrect.
Anyway the ad intrigued me enough to look further into the job and the link read:

JOBS

HORIZONTAL DIRECTIONAL DRILLING (HDD) OPERATOR FOR AFGHANISTAN


Copenhagen Contractors A/S is looking for a skilled, proactive and self-motivated operator for our Horizontal Directional Drilling (HDD) plant at Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan.
Is a panzer now a "Horizontal Directional Drilling" item of plant ?
Now I don't mind the term but is this being done just to please the rabbit folk ?

Has anyone found a better PC name for something we'd consider pretty

normal ?
It's funny but I think they've just mixed the links up between two jobs.

Does make me wonder what they want horizontal drilling for on an airfield but I suppose it's to install new cable runs under the runway etc.
They'd have to be bloody long cables with a very stong ferret (animal type) to pull them through. You can't do horizontal drilling after going a few feet down.
 
#18
ex_colonial said:
Cuddles said:
A friend of mine, who runs a market intelligence team for an agency, rejoices under the title "Global Head of Knowledge". Now the lass is bright but that is one hell of a job title IMHO. Her enormous breasts and long blonde hair however often confuse people, who explain their sensitive business case/proposal/pricing structure to her because she's only a blondey bunnykins...

With the commercial instincts of a Rottweiler who passed out first from Harvard Business School! I trained her you know...
Mmmm...... head, Mmmm....... and with big tits & blond hair, Mmmm..... I think I will have to lie down & rest while I think about that, Now where did I put the tissues ? Mmm :lol: :lol: :lol:
She comes from Essex if that helps with your sexual fantasy and I happen to know she owns a pair of velvety black, arrse-hugging jeans? Are you there yet? :D
 
#19
Cuddles said:
ex_colonial said:
Cuddles said:
A friend of mine, who runs a market intelligence team for an agency, rejoices under the title "Global Head of Knowledge". Now the lass is bright but that is one hell of a job title IMHO. Her enormous breasts and long blonde hair however often confuse people, who explain their sensitive business case/proposal/pricing structure to her because she's only a blondey bunnykins...

With the commercial instincts of a Rottweiler who passed out first from Harvard Business School! I trained her you know...
Mmmm...... head, Mmmm....... and with big tits & blond hair, Mmmm..... I think I will have to lie down & rest while I think about that, Now where did I put the tissues ? Mmm :lol: :lol: :lol:
She comes from Essex if that helps with your sexual fantasy and I happen to know she owns a pair of velvety black, arrse-hugging jeans? Are you there yet? :D
Shh, I'm just resting after the 5 finger exercising :lol: :lol:
ps. any pics?
 
#20
CaptainPlume said:
In no way is the bloke who fixes a Sky dish on the side of your house a "satellite engineer". In Der Vaterland it is forbidden to use the name engineer unless one is professionally qualified...
I once saw "dish technician" advertised in the window of a local pizza restaurant. They meant "dish washer". I think 'technician' is also protected in box-head-burg?
 
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