Police shoot a Peruvian terrorist suspect

#1
A suspect Peruvian wearing a bulky coat and carrying a suspect package has been shot and killed at Paddington Station.

The bear was sitting "all alone on a suitcace, behind a pile of mailbags, close to the lost property office" and did not respond to the officers' commands.

Chief Constable Knacker said "the fact that the suspect was brown and wearing a bulky coat meant we could take no chances. We bitterly regret this tragedy but other bears may end up getting shot in these dangerous times."

The unnamed bear is believed to have entered Britain illegally from Darkest Peru where he leaves behind an aged relative, Aunt Lucy, in a Home for Retired Bears. She is said to be "distraught".

The shooting was witnessed by Mr and Mrs Brown, who were waiting at the station for their daughter Judy. Mr Brown said "the officers issued a challenge but the bear did not appear to hear them, as it was busy eating a marmalade sandwich."

Officers searched the corpse and found a battered brown suitcase with a secret compartment containing a scrapbook. The bear had a label around his neck saying "please look after this bear" and was wearing a floppy hat.

CCTV footage of the victim
 
#2
Bears have rights to. Wait till Yogi and Boo-Boo hear about this, they will never return to this country, not to mention the 3 bears and Whinnie the Poo. Gutted :lol:
 
#3
Do you think this will have a knock effect from then reast of our cartoon friends, hope not , millions of kids will be upset.
 
#6
sparkysapper said:
Do you think this will have a knock effect from then rest of our cartoon friends, hope not , millions of kids will be upset.
Havent got a Scooby?

SK
 

Auld-Yin

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#9
Darth_Doctrinus said:
MrPVRd said:
...the officers issued a challenge but the bear did not appear to hear them, as it was busy eating a marmalade sandwich...
Classic! :D
I take some offence at the wording here. The bear, and let's be frank, his name was Paddington so we should recognise his existence, had a persona (sorry can't work the accents/graves). This was a real bear, not an IT.

Hungry bears do look a bit suspicious but surely the Old Bill could have tried a bit harder to engage in conversation, at the very end of their frustration, surely they could have tried subduing Paddington and asking him to accompany themn to their very nice police canteen for more marmalade sandwiches (if Plod knows what marmalade is).
 

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#10
Double_Duck said:
LMAO, nice job... :D
Double Duck - I find it so hard to come to terms with that you could put the demise of Paddington bear at the hand of Plod as a 'nice job'. I am gutted.
 
#11
I always thought that bear had a dodgy look about him, it was me who tipped the plod off that he was at Paddington, if he hadn't tried to waddle off they wouldnt have capped him.....
 
#12
Double_Duck said:
I always thought that bear had a dodgy look about him, it was me who tipped the plod off that he was at Paddington, if he hadn't tried to waddle off they wouldnt have capped him.....

Poor bear was only having his marmalade sandwiches, what has he ever done to you???

I hope this gives you sleepless nights.

Thousands of kids are tonight lighting candles and crying thenmselves to sleep

you heartles Bstard
 
#13
Double_Duck said:
I always thought that bear had a dodgy look about him, it was me who tipped the plod off that he was at Paddington, if he hadn't tried to waddle off they wouldnt have capped him.....
You bloody grass. Hope your blood money was worth it.
 

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#15
Obviously Double Duck will now have to go into hiding - part of the 'Witness protection programme' and re-surface under a new psuedo-name in the near future.
 
#16
Alas, the bear had no name. Had he survived he may have been named (perhaps by the Brown family) after Paddington Station, but we will never know...

I blame the pernicious bear smugglers. Only a year ago, a freight container was found packed with thousands of bears from China brought into the country for money. Needless to say the poor things had no signs of life and had not been provided with water or food.

Political prisoners in China:



The poor victims, laid out in a temporary mortuary:



Here is such an immigrant caught by customs officers, trying to sneak into the country.
 
#17
I'm with ducky on this one; the bear had illegally entered the country with no means to support himself.

He was loitering in a busy station and wearing unseasonably bulky clothing.

He was warned by officers to obey their commands to stop and legged it.

Bleeding hearts will no doubt turn him into a household name and write stories of the adventures he'll never have and the Brown couple will no doubt be jumping on that bandwagon as we speak!

Beebs
 
#19
There are more bears out there in hiding and i wont rest until i have them all eliminated, i dont ask for pay just for the pleasure of knowing that i am ridding my country of these furry critters once and for all...
 
#20
In this case scientific analsys of the crime scene might be of help:

If the marmalade in queston is of good quality, containing generous amounts
of rind the bear in question is clearly a sturdy fellow, and has been wronged.

If its some slushy orange chemical cr**p then he had it coming!!
 

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