Police Response Time

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Zofo, Feb 27, 2005.

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  1. A friend of mine in the office was just telling me a story about her uncle who lives just outside of Liverpool. The aunt was upstairs in the house tidying up when she heard a noise downstairs. She poked her head down over the banister and saw a rather scruffy bloke who she had never met before carrying a bag and looking very suspicious.
    She wasn’t able to confront the youth so she did the next best thing, as advocated by our superb (shome mistake shurely – ed) politicians and called the police. When she was connected, the operator said that they had no one in the area to respond and told her to keep her head down.
    She was not happy with this response and called her husband who unfortunately for her was working at least an hour away. He did say leave it to him though.
    The husband rang the police and when asked for his emergency he said his wife had called in a burglar – “anyway lads, you don’t have to come any more, I’ve shot him”.

    There were four response vehicles and an armed police detachment at the house in five minutes.
  2. An old old story, heard many times from many prople, different characters, different places and differnt police forces..... most profess to know the people involved, but the same story.
  3. The old ones are the best !
  4. .... and you missed out the bit about when the Poice arrived.

    " You said you shot him", said the Policeman.

    " and you said you hads nobody available in the area", said the householder.

    The old ones are indeed the best, but I do believe that this was a true story and remember reading it in a newspaper (I know, I know - newspapers and truth - oil and water and all that).
  5. It appears I may be too gullible!! :oops:
  6. Let's just say you're 'receptive' to new ideas..... other people are gullible :wink:
  7. Its certainly believable enough given the state of police call centers :?
  8. Very similar to what I know to be fact. Paramedic lecturing on first aid mentioned that best way to get a quick response from an ambulance was to report that the patient had 'collapsed in the street'. Couple of months later I had to use this tactic and it got us service quicker than we were advised when we said the guy in the office needed an ambulance
  9. This is a genuine one, I met a Paramedic in an unnamed Ambulance Service. We will call it "West Midlands" for the purposes of demonstration.

    When asked by someone what happens when a "treble 9" call comes in. We were expecting him to describe klaxxons going off in the station and thunderbirds style automation to deliver the paramedics to their mini operating theatre on wheels. Once the turbo had been fired up, the vehicle then explodes out of the station on blues and twos, roaring to the accident scene in a manner not unlike that seen on Knight Rider/Streethawk/Batman (TM). The vehicle is guided there by a state of the art computer system, which probably boasts an animated display allied with a dry and humourous electronic voice and character *.

    His actual reply was:

    "We get an alert/phone call from control telling us where we need to go, which is intercepted by the duty watch. He walks into the rest room and lets the crew know the details. They (very) slowly finish their cup of tea and cigarette, saunter to the toilet to empty the bladder (massively full of tea apparently) and then walk slowly to the vehicle. Once inside a few minutes are spent checking a route if it is not known using a route planner, as the GPS system installed takes you from Wolverhampton to Birmingham for example using the shortest possible route (i.e. via Leeds). Once satisfied we drive carefully at approximately 40 Mph towards the location, potentially asking for directions on the way. This of course is only if it is a heart attack or other "priority" call..."


    * Again ladies and gentlemen, I would like to give a brief introduction to irony. Obviously only Carlsberg could provide such an emergency response service, using mostly semi naked goddesses not unlike those depicted on Lynx adverts...
  10. More posts like that Hellfyyr and you will be well on the road to redemption. Assuming they are your words of course... :D
  11. judge, book, cover; over...

  12. By coincidence, I was amazed to see a police officer not in a vehicle this afternoon. I was so surprised I used my phone's camera to capture the event for posterity:


    The people of Stamford can rest easy, knowing that their local police are watching over them - or will be, just as soon as they've finished their shopping....
  13. Awwwwww The poor loves more than likely lost
  14. BABE

    Feed her to me!
  15. C'mon, put her in a kappa tracksuit & some reebok classics & she'd be the epitome of a chav!