Police were called today to a domestic dispute between two respected members of the Soho gay community who inadvertantly got their Prince Alberts entangled and started fighting over which member of Bronski Beat has the firmest kneecaps. "These two well known homosexuals first appeared on our radar in 1991 after 'going down hard' on some Arabs after spilling their load on a public highway from a considerable height" Police spokesman Tariq Aziz said today. John "Bruno" Nicols likes to dress up in flying gear whilst performing 'thrust' actions on his defenceless victims. He is known to frequent seedy military theme websites touting his "Medical" book which, in fact, contains dubious practices such as Thai gender realignment surgery and advanced rectal prolapse inducement. John "Liberace" Nicols was unavailable for comment as he had his mouth full.