Poem I wrote on being a Soldier

#1
It’s me and my rifle, life as a soldier

Sun, rain, heat, the hearts beat
They say war turns men into boys
Ears turn deaf due to the officers shouting, a real loud noise
I constantly ask myself, is shooting good for my health

Mental issues, they say, was it me or the stress
Beret, caps, medals, and an officer hard to impress
That’s life being a solider, you never expect anything but the worst

Hungary for action, a real battle thirst, anxious to see who fires first
Orders need to be followed, pride needs to be swallowed, no buts or if's, facts over myths

A life of a soldier can be detrimental
Never forget your body armour due to shrapnel
Living on the edge they say, I didn’t join for the pay
Brotherhood I Say, toast for the fallen, a good reminder for each day, will it be me next I hope not I pray

Military brotherhood they say, unified, dignified, less likely to go stray, will the civilians ever understand, we don’t shed tears, we shed tolerance, endurance of what life brings to us, people sleep safely at night, without knowing, who faces the real fight, they will never understand, all I got is the Military brotherhood!
 
#2
absolute sh*te
 
#4
Can I "unread" that drivvel????
 
#5
When I was in school I shagged your Mum

Now I'm in 3 PARA and I love it up the Bum.
 
#6
It’s me and my rifle, life as a soldier

Sun, rain, heat, the hearts beat
They say war turns men into boys
Ears turn deaf due to the officers shouting, a real loud noise
I constantly ask myself, is shooting good for my health

Mental issues, they say, was it me or the stress
Beret, caps, medals, and an officer hard to impress
That’s life being a solider, you never expect anything but the worst

Hungary for action, a real battle thirst, anxious to see who fires first
Orders need to be followed, pride needs to be swallowed, no buts or if's, facts over myths

A life of a soldier can be detrimental
Never forget your body armour due to shrapnel
Living on the edge they say, I didn’t join for the pay
Brotherhood I Say, toast for the fallen, a good reminder for each day, will it be me next I hope not I pray

Military brotherhood they say, unified, dignified, less likely to go stray, will the civilians ever understand, we don’t shed tears, we shed tolerance, endurance of what life brings to us, people sleep safely at night, without knowing, who faces the real fight, they will never understand, all I got is the Military brotherhood!
Did they have body armour in Chechinya or wherever you "went" to?
 
#7
Here's my contribution to the crap poetry thread.........


How would you like to be
sat on Sabrina's knee
kissing her lips
and feeling her tits
whilst she is having
a pee
 
G

goatrutar

Guest
#8
on top of old smokey,all covered in shit.
i fucked a poor virgin and bit off her tit.

now that is poetry.
 
#9
I thought 'Hungary' was a country?
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#10
Is Afghan Catflap really Anton Lorien, or Antwan le Frog as he came to be known? He's my favourite. We Are The Brits should be played in all schools. I fail to see why YouTube punters should suffer alone.

[video=youtube;dk5uwz2FBoA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk5uwz2FBoA[/video]
 
#11
Is Afghan Catflap really Anton Lorien, or Antwan le Frog as he came to be known? He's my favourite. We Are The Brits should be played in all schools. I fail to see why YouTube punters should suffer alone.

[video=youtube;dk5uwz2FBoA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk5uwz2FBoA[/video]

you're a cunt...and so is that song
 
#12
It’s me and my cock, life as a cock jockey

Sun, rain, heat, the hearts beat
They say prostitution turns men into boys
Ears turn deaf due to the officers shouting, a real loud noise
I constantly ask myself, is being shot in the arse good for my health

Mental issues, they say, was it me or the stress
Beret, caps, medals, and an officer hard to impress
That’s life being a bacha baz, you never expect anything but the worst

Hungary for action, a real battle thirst, anxious to see who's cock fires first
Orders need to be followed, jizz needs to be swallowed, no buts or if's, facts over myths

…………

A sorry tale of Kandaks youth…
 

Wordsmith

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
In the Hitch Hiker's guide to the galaxy, we learn about the Vogons.

Vogons are... mindlessly bureaucratic, aggressive, having "as much sex appeal as a road accident" and the writers of "the third worst poetry in the universe".
I think Afghan Fuckaduck is a Vogon.

Wordsmith
 
#14
Oh dearest flo, i love you so,
Especially in your nightie.
When the moonlight flits, across your tits,
Oh Jesus Christ almighty!
 
#15
I wrote a poem once , still trying to live with it "Sob"
 
#16
A worthy successor to William McGonagall. That is one of the worst bits of doggerel I have ever read, I rate it 9 out of 10 for unintentional humour. And about minus 100 for every other aspect of the written or indeed spoken word.
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#17
you're a cunt...and so is that song
Let me get this straight - I am being called a cunt in a thread devoted to the poetry of Afghan Catflap? I... I... I don't know what to say. I am speechless. This is the proudest moment of my life.

I'd like to thank my manager, my PA, my PR, my driver, my agent, my fluff-girl, my hair stylist, my insurance salesman and of course Mummy and Daddy, but most of all I would like to thank you, the little people... MY FANS. Thank you all.
 
#18
Mary from the highland glen
seduced herself with a fountain pen
the filler bag burst
the ink went wild
Mary gave birth to a blue/black
child...............
 

TheIronDuke

ADC
Book Reviewer
#19
There was a young girl from the Azores
Who's cunt was all covered in sores
Not the dogs in the street
Would touch the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers


Mines the tutu and gimp mask combo. Cheers.
 
#20
Sock Puppet
By Afghan_ Kandak​


To brighten up an otherwise dull day
I pretend to be a cunt called sadly, A K

'Sock Puppet' they shout, with flowing spit
Alter-ego, Ney me, I'm completely legit

Tales of rough figthing for the great Red Bear
Trying to sound as If I was there

But in reality I'm a fecking great liar
Telling ARRSEr's that they should try harder

My ID is known to a select chosen few
Reveal myself, cough up, Oh what to do?

It's time to end this soon that I might
Because deep down we know it's complete utter shite

So, my ARRSEn buddies, if you know who I am
Shout out, let go, fess up like a man

Because, no doubt, it's duller each day
That I pretend to sock-puppet this way

The site is drowning in puppetry crap
That refuses to shut their anonymous trap

So CO's kick me right out
So that I may choke on fat cock that I deserve as I'm getting fucking boring and repetative and . . . . . .
 

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