Pocket Problem.....

Discussion in 'Weapons, Equipment & Rations' started by TheBigUn, Oct 24, 2008.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. With the onset of winter I now need to carry my woolly hat and my gloves in my jacket pockets and at the moment I have the respective gloves in the left and right pockets and my hat in the right pocket.

    However this is causing a serious pocket imbalance as my right pocket bulges considerably more than my left. I'm considering putting both gloves in the left hand pocket and keeping my hat in the right in order to balance things out.

    Is this acceptable or is having a pair of gloves in the same pocket just not right?

    :D
     
  2. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Why don't you just wear them?
     
  3. I think the easiest solution would be for you to cut your head off :)
     
  4. Hip flask! That should pad out the left pocket to the same as the hat carrying right. You can enjoy a quick snifter and no longer look a knob.

    Both gloves in the same pocket will lead you to putting the wrong glove on the hand and give you spacker dexterity.
     
  5. Simply get another hat and keep one in each pocket. Not only will this practical idea keep your pockets balanced and you looking stylish and debonair but you should also be able to create some witty pub anecdotes about the origin of the 'Two Hats' legend.
     
  6. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Or you could move somewhere warm.
     
  7. Carry a bag/briefcase or wear a backpack. Job done.
     
  8. Get a piece of string, tie it to the gloves and thread them through the arms of your Jacket, hey presto problem solved
     
  9. But what happens when he has a quick snifter and the weight is reduced in the hip flask? The pocket bulk will be equal but the weight won't be. How big a head does he have if a woolly hat is an equal weight to a full hip flask?
     
  10. What happens when he'swearing one of the hats, though?

    Perhaps the best bet is to carry a hat in each pocket, and another on your head.
     
  11. Best get a spare pair of gloves as well then. Wouldn't want the hats getting lonely.
     
  12. If he uses a good malt he won't give a to55 about that.
     
  13. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    A simple but effective solution would be to replace the amount of alcohol drunk by urinating an equal amount back into the hip flask.
     
  14. Not easy when you've got your gloves on the wrong hands though. :(
     

  15. especially if he's pissed.