Yesterday I helped deliver a canal boat from Teddington to Staines, and sadly, I must confess to using the following terms during the Stella-fuelled voyage... 1. Hands out of the rig of the day clear off the upper deck. 2. That's Cambodia up there, captain. 3. Machinery breakdown! machinery breakdown! 4. Arc light ( when a 737 out of Heathrow passed overhead, oh dear... ) 5. The leaving harbour brief will be in five minutes time. 6. Charlie don't surf. 7. Lance! get back in the boat, goddamit.. I kept this up until Chertsey, where my crew-mates threatened to wedge my head in the lock gates and ram a fending-off pole up my arrse if I didn't shut the f*ck up... Has anybody else on here used Jack/Squaddy terminology in an utterly inappropriate context, in a manner almost designed to make friends and family want to batter your skull in with a ball-peen hammer?