Please caption these for me!!

[Hussar]

Hi Guy's,

I have been challenged to caption these photo's taken on a recent busuiness trip to Portugal. Please help. All captions welcome.

 

[ITjobless]

je t'aimes
xx

 

[the_rigger]

Caption to first picture.
"No don't worry, Mr Litvenenko. This Portugese Sushi is perfectly safe!"

 

[A_Knocker_Till_The_End]

pic 1

"have you ate all the pies then fella????"

 

[LordVonHarley]

Photo 1 "Her clit was as big as this prawn and tasted just the same!"

 

[WasMe]

Pic 1

Bloke on right thinks "FFS Kill me before i die of boredom"

Pic 2

"Excuse me, can I interupt the midgit throwing for a second? One of the little ******* has landed in my beer"

 

[WasMe]

Bloke on right thinks

"Oh for **** sake, why the hell did I sit next to this twat?"

"I hope that sushi is poisoned"

"please God, strike me down"

 

[Phillip-Kotler]

Any chance of making the pictures a bit bigger?

Picture One - Honestly mate, this Blue Bols and squid cocktail is delicious

 

[putteesinmyhands]

Pic 1. Don't drink that stuff in the glass. Look what it's done to the prawns.

Pic 2. I've just posted off my application for British Airways.

 

[the_butler]

picture 1
gods honest mate you rub it on your head and it stimulates your hair folicles that's why muffz always smell fishy.
picture 2
faced with the prospect of drinking everyone's pi55 in a vase walters hair stood on end betraying his nonchalant smile

 

[Mighty_doh_nut]

Pic 1......

Nice head...... hows the khemo going, and can Hong Kong phooey have his jacket back please you cancer addled cnut

 

[suits_U]

Pic 1: 'No wonder you've got moobs eating shi'ite like that.'

Pic 2: As the lads finished there meal and washed it down, the bartender added his 'special sauce' to the dessert.

 

[LordVonHarley]

Photo Two - After 22 years as a Transexual, Maxinia got into the habit of ordering drinks in large glasses to make his/her hands look small.

 

[OMD80]

Pic 1: Seriously… you can see its c0ck!

Pic 2: Filled it up in one go…please can I have my good boy chocolate now?

 

[Phillip-Kotler]

Picture Two - Yeah, vertical stripes make you look much thinner, those two birds on the telly said so.

 

[Myss]

First pic: Bloke on the right saying "If you're gonna down that load of crap, you'll end up with multi-coloured shite in the morning".

Second pic: "Cheers..... for having tits bigger than my mams"