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Plans to make the Army cheaper

#1
OK, we are costing too much and the conflicts in Iraq, Afghaniostan and Iran - (oops foget the last one) are ruining the next Budget.
So how about some ideas to make the army cheaper. Can we do a kill one get two dead deal, or perhaps set up a website called Comparebattles.com ?

There must be some better ideas out there??
 
#2
How about getting sh*t equipment, lack of vehicles, crap married quarters and introduce a new cost cutting pay system( call it something like paycut 2010)


What do you mea someone else thought of this before me :?

ok then get a new computer system( to fcuk everyones pay up) and get rid of all the clerks. :D
 
#3
Outstanding said:
OK, we are costing too much and the conflicts in Iraq, Afghaniostan and Iran - (oops foget the last one) are ruining the next Budget.
So how about some ideas to make the army cheaper. Can we do a kill one get two dead deal, or perhaps set up a website called Comparebattles.com ?

There must be some better ideas out there??
Perhaps we could call up all the Walts (those that wear current kit) for 6 months with all their vehicles and deactivated weapons. Also hire all the old tanks and armoured vehicles that are in private hands. Would have a larger army at half the cost.
 
#4
If the call centres have all moved to pakistan because it costs less, why don't we (the Army) move to Pakistan as well...there's sh1t loads of room because all the pakistanis are over in this country, they get to stay in britain and we can all get cholera, but at a third of the normal price..and think of the curry houses mmmmmmmmm jalfrezi......
 
#6
Outstanding said:
Actually Poland might be a realistic option, closer the training areas and cheaper than BA(G). Then we could close BATUS and learn to drink Vodka!
The Polish beer is like gnats p*ss but the (tracks) train journey is well worth it :pissed:

Cant you try somewhere hot and sunny with a beach instead :relax:
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#7
As I said on a different thread, the forces are to be privatised, and sold off to highest bidder. So far it is Group 4. Wages will be cut, rank structure modified. After all, no need for all those layers. Private soldier, then foreman then manager. General staff will become Board of Directors, and someone from ntl or NHS will become CEO.
Shareholders will expect return for investments and individuals will be set targets, objectives and profit maximisation.

And we will all have jam tomorrow.
 
#8
old_fat_and_hairy said:
As I said on a different thread, the forces are to be privatised, and sold off to highest bidder. So far it is Group 4. Wages will be cut, rank structure modified. After all, no need for all those layers. Private soldier, then foreman then manager. General staff will become Board of Directors, and someone from ntl or NHS will become CEO.
Shareholders will expect return for investments and individuals will be set targets, objectives and profit maximisation.

And we will all have jam tomorrow.
Wise words ofh - this will be strawberry jam I hope.
 
#9
Outstanding said:
OK, we are costing too much and the conflicts in Iraq, Afghaniostan and Iran - (oops foget the last one) are ruining the next Budget.
So how about some ideas to make the army cheaper. Can we do a kill one get two dead deal, or perhaps set up a website called Comparebattles.com ?

There must be some better ideas out there??
How about you sort your fucking spelling out and decide whether or not you are an officer or a senior or a junior, and which Regiment you serve in? If you actually do of course.

That offer at Larkhill WOs' and Sgts' Mess still stands.
 
#10
I think the MOD could save a fortune by selling off the RAF. Only a small number of officers go into combat. We keep them and the fighting aircraft, the rest can easily be privatised.
 
#11
Why don't we find a big country with a big Army, latch onto them (whilst pretending to be really good pals) follow them around the world on their say so. When we get to where we are going we can scrounge all their kit from them in exchange for berets, cap badges....etc etc. They can do the "big jobs" taking most of the heat, with us doing the smaller bits and pieces.

Hey presto we will save an absolute fortune whilst gaining a new set of "friends"....brilliant just brilliant! :roll:
 
#12
medman82 said:
If the call centres have all moved to pakistan because it costs less, why don't we (the Army) move to Pakistan as well...there's sh1t loads of room because all the pakistanis are over in this country, they get to stay in britain and we can all get cholera, but at a third of the normal price..and think of the curry houses mmmmmmmmm jalfrezi......
If we move the lads out to Pakistan, save an absolute fortune on air travel to the sandpits as it would only be a short tab over the borders.
 
#13
We could do more tours and be part of more conflicts so that more people will sign off, so we save money that way due to the fact that we are constantly being fcuked around, then when it starts to become too obvious that we have retention problems we could amalgamate units and scrap others so that we have super regiments but still look quite impressive and can trawl from battalions within the regiments for op tours... :scratch:
Oh wait we have already done that one havent we... :?
 
#14
old_fat_and_hairy said:
As I said on a different thread, the forces are to be privatised, and sold off to highest bidder. So far it is Group 4. Wages will be cut, rank structure modified. After all, no need for all those layers. Private soldier, then foreman then manager. General staff will become Board of Directors, and someone from ntl or NHS will become CEO.
Shareholders will expect return for investments and individuals will be set targets, objectives and profit maximisation.

And we will all have jam tomorrow.

My bold

I don’t think this would work, if Group 4 looses wars like it looses prisoners we will be overrun but the Albanians (oh sorry update the Government has already capitulated our borders and we have been over run by Albanians).

So we can get rid of the Army altogether and use the money saved to spend on extra bureaucracy do I get a job at a Labour think tank?
 
#15
cernunnos said:
I think the MOD could save a fortune by selling off the RAF. Only a small number of officers go into combat. We keep them and the fighting aircraft, the rest can easily be privatised.
They're working hard on that already!
The RAF has more "Agencies" than firms that sell houses.
Much aircraft engineering is contracted out, as of course is nearly all the "domestic" stuff.
Going to get tough persuading civvy tech support to deploy, though.
Still, you'll get the Air Force you're prepared to pay for.

BTW, Cunard are apparently bidding for the RN. The boom in cruise line business potentially makes it a steal, although outside cabins in SSK and SSN may be difficult to market.
 
B

blindfire

Guest
#16
blue_sophist said:
cernunnos said:
I think the MOD could save a BTW, Cunard are apparently bidding for the RN. The boom in cruise line business potentially makes it a steal, although outside cabins in SSK and SSN may be difficult to market.

Do we still have a Navy :?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#18
devexwarrior said:
blindfire said:
blue_sophist said:
cernunnos said:
I think the MOD could save a BTW, Cunard are apparently bidding for the RN. The boom in cruise line business potentially makes it a steal, although outside cabins in SSK and SSN may be difficult to market.

Do we still have a Navy :?
No
Well, we have the manpower, but have to borrow their boats back from Iran before they can deploy.
 
#19
i have an idea

cut the chefs employ civies - saves money

cut the clerks and employ civies as well as get a new IT kit (thats got to save money)

dont try and recruit from UK less go to fiji/south africa/jamaca - we know they are all have the same standards/cultures as us and so will fit in very easily - they are not going to move their families (extendend) here or get out after 3 yrs and see what the state can give them.

change budgets around - forget the lads on the front line and their kit, lets put money into ADV trg and staff ride programmes - keep the senior officers happy we need to keep them in, they will bolster morale.

let make it very hard for people to claim money/ using the new IT systems tell them that they need to keep receipts for 2 yrs even if its for a coffee cause we can audit them any time. No reciepts means fraud - people may be tempted not to claim anymore.

we all know stores are for storing kit in - but lets keep the stores empty so that people go out and buy their own kit - if we have to supply anything make sure we get the cheapest kit so it doesnt last long, tie that up with empty stores -




wonder if anyone will think these ideas are good and use them?
 
#20
Make the Army cheaper to run by:

1. Use the budget to fund the core task of defending the Realm and its interests and allies abroad.

2. Ceasing to use it as a combined get-rich-quick scheme for friends in the defence industry/job guarantee for retiring senior officers and civil servants.

Totally unworkable, of course.
 

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