Pirates

#1
I was telling my wife that Paul and Rachel Chandler have been released by Somalian pirates.


"They had to pay them a million dollars though..." I said, "...which coincidentally is what you look like."


"What? A million Dollars?"


"No darling... a Somalian pirate."
 
#2
Some light humour


Why are women like clouds?
Eventually they fu*k off and its a really nice day.
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What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
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A man walks into a petrol station and says, 'can I please have a Kit Kat
Chunky?'
The lady behind the till gets him a KitKat Chunky and brings it back to him.
'No,' says the man, 'I wanted a normal KitKat, you fat bitch.'
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My wife, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me one of these mood
rings so she could monitor my mood.
We discovered that, when I am in a good mood, it turns green and, when I am
in a bad mood, it leaves a big fu*king big red mark on her forehead.
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I was at an ATM when an old lady came up and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
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Zebu, a half blind five year old south African orphan, has to ride 7 miles a
day to school with only one leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no
brakes.

Give just small donation of 2 dollars and we'll send you the video, it's
fu*king hilarious....
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Two men are in a pub. One says to his mate 'My mother-in-law is an angel'.
The reply from his friend......'You're so fu*king lucky...Mine's still
alive...'
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A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian says; 'Fu*k off, you won't bring it back.'
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2 Men in a pub and one is riding a Bucking Bronco Machine. He lasts over 10
minutes.
'Geeeeez mate, that was impressive!'
'I get lots of practice' Replied the other guy. 'My wife's an epileptic'
----------------------------------------------------------------------

A suicide bomber runs into a pet shop and yells, 'you've all got 30 seconds
to get out!'
The tortoise at the back of the shop shouts, 'you cu*t!'
 
I

IssacHunt

Guest
#3
Some light humour
------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between light and hard?
You can sleep with a light on.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's the difference between an egg and a wank?

You can beat an egg.
 

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