Pirates Vs Lasers

#2
topless lesbian laser wielding ninja pirates- just saying it makes you cream your pants
 
A

Aleegee1698

Guest
#3
This weapon was actually discovered purely by chance. A famous Ex-Pat Far eastern Author of military/pirate "faction novels" discovered that whilst photographing highly dangerous AK wielding, smacked-up Somali Pirates, his laser range finder fitted to the camera caused one of the pirates to swiftly turn away, like this:




The rest, is history.......
 
#4
Any chance we could put these onto frickin sharks?
 

Command_doh

LE
Book Reviewer
#5
Weapons designed to cause permanent blindness are banned by a United Nations protocol.
Hmmm, I wonder how long this remains so? Especially when 'frikking laser beams' become man portable and Uncle Spam (or its global 'Daddy' successor China) decides they are great for everyday use.
 
#9
But what if the pirates got their parrots upgraded to have frikkin laser beams on their heads.

"Polly wanna....fffffffftttttttzzzzz!
 
#10
your losing me now
 
#11
At closer ranges, the green laser beam will dazzle them

Artist's impression of BAE's laser distraction system

The artist should really have read the statement. Or perhaps he'd been dazzled.

The pirates seem to have an adequate supply of Ready Brek.
 
#14
But they'd have to wear one on each eye.
Reminds me of the procedure for when we used to have V bombers hanging about the place waiting to jet off and drop a few buckets of instant sunshine on the communists. Someone realised that dropping these all over the place was likely to cause a large number of nuclear flashes that could seriously damage the eyesight or blind the V bomber pilots which might negatively affect their performance in finding the target and getting back home again. Resorting to cutting edge British technology it was decided to issue each of them eye patches with the co-pilot wearing two and the pilot one. Pilot starts flying with one eye covered and when they get hit by the first flash he takes off the patch and continues flying with his remaining good eye, when hit with the second flash the co-pilot removes one of his eye patches and takes over piloting the aircraft, when they get hit with a third flash he takes off his other eye patch and continues flying with his remaining eye, and if they get hit by a fourth nuclear flash well then they're all buggered and crash.
 
#15
The Jaguar pilots in Brüggen used to carry one eye patche each on exersise to protect them against the flash of the various buckets of sunshine being slung around. Lo-tech works!
As for laser dazzling, I think our Russian friends used lasers to dazzle unwelcome maritime recce pilots over 20 years ago.
 
#16
These pirate gangs swindle millions outof the maritime industry. While it may stop some of the gangs, it'll just leave a gap for those with the sense to purchase commercial laser protection goggles.
 
#17
Reminds me of the procedure for when we used to have V bombers hanging about the place waiting to jet off and drop a few buckets of instant sunshine on the communists. Someone realised that dropping these all over the place was likely to cause a large number of nuclear flashes that could seriously damage the eyesight or blind the V bomber pilots which might negatively affect their performance in finding the target and getting back home again. Resorting to cutting edge British technology it was decided to issue each of them eye patches with the co-pilot wearing two and the pilot one. Pilot starts flying with one eye covered and when they get hit by the first flash he takes off the patch and continues flying with his remaining good eye, when hit with the second flash the co-pilot removes one of his eye patches and takes over piloting the aircraft, when they get hit with a third flash he takes off his other eye patch and continues flying with his remaining eye, and if they get hit by a fourth nuclear flash well then they're all buggered and crash.
at Warminster Sp Wpns Wing in the late 90s, the commandant decided he'd make his name from introducing direct energy weapons protection into the syllabus. The end results were some dire lecture and when he was visiting field training, all students wearing the funky goggles from 5mins before arrival to 5 mins after
 
#18
'Weapons designed to cause permanent blindness are banned by a United Nations protocol'

Did someone tell the Russians?

'On April 4, 1997, Lt. Jack Daly, a Navy intelligence officer serving on a joint U.S.-Canadian surveillance mission near Seattle, was shot in the eye with a laser beam while monitoring a Russian ship thought to be tracking our submarine fleet. The incident prompted a search of the ship days later, but our State Department provided twenty-four hour warning of the investigation which may have enabled the removal of the laser equipment. Only public areas were allowed to be searched.

Because this incident was perceived to be a potential stumbling block in our relations with Russia, it was kept secret for weeks and efforts were made within the Defense and State Departments to cover it up. The State Department never issued a formal demarche. The Canadian pilot, also injured by the laser, was never interviewed. This was not some low-level affair - it was discussed in the White House and involved National Security Assistant Bob Bell and Undersecretary Strobe Talbott. Dalys superior told him 'You don't know the pressure I am under to sweep this under the rug. Fortunately, the story was broken by Washington Times reporter Bill Gertz, who exposed more details about it is his recent book Betrayal. While no acknowledgement has been made to this day that the Russians attacked a U.S. military officer, the fleet monitoring ships was ordered to wear eye protection against lasers. When he wrote me pressing for further investigation of this matter, Daly suffered professionally for pursuing this matter. Prior to the incident, he had received his highest rating for promotion ever. After the incident, that rating was reversed, and it became the worst evaluation of his career. He is now approaching his second review for promotion - and his career hangs in the balance. Mr. Chairman, I ask that you bring Lt. Daly and the Canadian pilot in for testimony following todays session, and that all Members join me in expressing our support for a fair review of Lt. Dalys promotion.'
 

Fronty

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#19
Phhhhht. Everyone knows the best defense against pirates would be tame ninjas. Just get some of them on the ships and all would be well.

On a more serious note, the US is now deploying MMW direct energy weapons in Iraq and 'Stan, so why not just put a few of these at strategic points around a cargo ship. Pirates get too close, pirates feel skin burn. Pirates retreat. Repeat until bored.
 
#20
That well respected and factualy accurate documentary series 'Deadliest Warrior' seemed to suggest that they should deploy the Columbian drug cartels?
 

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