Pirate joke, pirate joke

B

bokkatankie

Guest
#2
Little Johnny is being taught about pirates at school, and the teacher asks him "Where would you find the Buccaneers?"

"Under the buckin' hat Miss" he replies.
No not funny at all, why would he be wearing a bucking hat, what is a bucking hat and if such a thing exists what is it for?
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
#7
If we're telling shit Pirate jokes, here goes -

Q. Why are Pirates called Pirates?

A. Cos they Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!
 
#11
Pirate Joke:

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.What happened? You look terrible.'

'What do you mean?' said the pirate. 'I feel fine.'

'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.'

'We were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'

'OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'

'In another battle I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand wascut off and I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.'

'What about that eye patch?'

'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up andone of them shit in my eye.'

'You're kidding. You lost an eye from bird shit?'

'Well, it was my first day with the hook.'
 
#12
A pirate goes to the doctor.
"I have some moles on me back, matey," he said. "I'd be obliged if ye'd take a look at them.
The doctor studies the moles for a while. "It's alright, he says, "they're benign."
"Ye need to have a better look," said the pirate. "There be twelve, at least."
 
#13
If we're telling shit Pirate jokes, here goes -

Q. Why are Pirates called Pirates?

A. Cos they Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrr!
And so, following on from that . . .

Q. What do pirates want when they come ashore?

A. To go for a jaaaarrrrrrrr.


Q. Where do they go to get a wet?

A. To the baaaarrrr.


Q. How do they get there?

A. By caaaaarrrrrr.


Q. Where have I taken this?

A. Too faaarrrrrr . . . .
 
#14
And so, following on from that . . .

Q. What do pirates want when they come ashore?

A. To go for a jaaaarrrrrrrr.


Q. Where do they go to get a wet?

A. To the baaaarrrr.


Q. How do they get there?

A. By caaaaarrrrrr.


Q. Where have I taken this?

A. Too faaarrrrrr . . . .
Q. What do pirates do to decompress after a particularly difficult cruise?

A. Go on arrrrrr and arrrrrrr
 
#15
Sailor goes into a pub and stood at the bar is a pirate whose head is the size of a tangerine.
To cut a long joke short the pirate found a beautiful mermaid trapped in a fishing net on a beach and freed her. She granted him a wish and because he couldn't shag her (for she had no fanny) he asked for a little head.
 
#16
Why can't pirates take Aspirins?

Because the parrots eat 'em all.
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
#17
This joke was around about 1980. Replaced in our regiment by "Airborne Forces" and "The Paras eat em all."

Then one night a young lad in 1st Troop knocked on my door. "What would you say if I told you I'd taken a bottle of painkillers?" Without looking up, I replied to the effect, "That you're a twunt."

Next morning I was asked about the ruckus in the room opposite yesterday evening? "Wah?" from me, the man who had slept through a mortar attack a few yards from his bed in Lisanelly Barracks, Omagh in 1976.

"Young Trooper REDACTED PERSEC got casevacced for swallowing a bottle of painkillers." I kept quiet.

He survived, but not before his suicide note went public. To the effect:

"You're all a bunch of twunts except that nice Lance Corporal Alien." Again, I kept quiet.

Next day, "Why do they not have painkillers in the 15th/19th Hussars?"

"Because REDACTED PERSEC ate em all."
 
#18
And so, following on from that . . .

Q. What do pirates want when they come ashore?

A. To go for a jaaaarrrrrrrr.


Q. Where do they go to get a wet?

A. To the baaaarrrr.


Q. How do they get there?

A. By caaaaarrrrrr.


Q. Where have I taken this?

A. Too faaarrrrrr . . . .
Q. Where do Pirates go shopping?

A. Aaaarrrrrgos
 
#20
Q. What is a pirates favourite country to plunder?

A . Arrrrrrrgentina
 
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