Pipe Smoking in Uniform

Discussion in 'Army Pay, Claims & JPA' started by sfub, Jan 12, 2010.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. For years, I have been under the impression that it is acceptable to smoke a pipe while in uniform and wearing headgear. Now, that has been thrown into question. Does anyone know the Standing Order on this? Do I have to jail myself for my filthy habit?
  2. Without going to the trouble of reading it, so there may be a few minor errors,

    You must remove headgear not just during the smoking, but when you have the intention to smoke. Essentially this means either getting the packet of fags out or, in your case, when you're stuffing the weed into the pipe.

    Additionally, the smoking (and the intention to smoke) must be done statically. You can't move about. You should also be in a place where smoking is permitted.

    While smoking (or intending to smoke), you are not required to give or return compliments, other than verbal.

    The same applies for eating and drinking.
  3. Depends if it's a crack pipe I guess, I remember being told by an old WO2 that back in the days of WW2, or something like that. You could march with pipe turned upside down (stopped the rain soaking it)
    Could just be an urban myth mind.
  4. Sir, I will stand by you all the way to the glasshouse.

    There are some things a gentleman should be permitted to do and some he should find restricted. Myself i find a pipe an excellent way to avoid the foolishness of soggy rizlas and tragedy that is having a cigarette fall in half because your fingers are wet.

    Pipe smoking if not covered in QR should certainly be encouraged. It adds an air of respectability and thoughfulness not found in marlborough lights or match stick thin roll ups.

    You will also see that the current issue respirator has a purpose made tube in which a gentleman may insert the mouthpiece of a well made briar so as to enjoy a quality smoke even under chemical, bacteriological, radiological or even nuclear circumstances.

    If ever a man had a case i believe it is you.
  5. Found it (thanks to ArmyNet - once I trawled through it to find the right place to look).

    Issue No. 168
    Para 5h.

    To correct myself, it is required that compliments be paid as normal, but there is no need to relace headdress to do so. :?

    This relates to wearing uniform in public, but there's a bit in Para 5f that says that the same standards should be maintained when not in public.
  6. Any female in the armed forces (and indeed, most of those not in the armed forces) may smoke my pipe any time they wish.
  7. Blimey....pipes...it was the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, combined with a dose of rebelliousness which got me onto the weed.

    I fondly remember sparking my pipe up as a young Ranger in the woods up in the hills near Magilligan in 87 and being lambasted by an incredulous Cpl Monty (guess what that was short for) . Mind you, it didn't stop him taking it off me and parading up and down the FUP for whichever pretend battle we were about to fight, pufffing mightily.

    IIRC the tobacco I was using was "Clan" which smells lovely, and which my teachers used to smoke.

    ffs, do I sound like "caubeen" now? I promise, we didn't send any messages in Latin. We were just shouted at.
  8. Clan's nice, as is Erinmore, however I'm a great fan of McLintock's 'Black Cherry'.

    Just don't imagine for one moment, however, that the habit will make you look enigmatic and attractive. The last time I lit up after giving some nurses the benefit of my flying skills, one Doris piped-up with "My Grand-dad used to smoke one of those".
  9. and you of course came out with the rejoindre "yes I am sure he did dear, but was he any good in bed? I am, as you must surely be able to discern, due to my inordinatley commendible and noteworthy flying skills, not to mention my almost sniper-like spotting of a chat up line when I hear it, and from the fairer sex at that, what say you, you minx, you temptress, you Lolita, you common minger, shall we repair to my hanger?"

    Please re-assure us that this pipe-smoking and flying combination has at least had one or two interesting results.
  10. I agree with you on Erinmore, especially if you add a drop of rum to your pouch to keep the tobacco moist. Not that bothered about looking enigmatic/attractive; I'm an ugly s0d to start with, with all the charisma of a blocked drain...
  11. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    I'm an Erinmore smoker, but finding it more and more difficult to obtain. My local Tesco mega-supa-giganta-store used to stock it, but have now stopped and won't get it back. Luckily my local Indian run post office cum everything shop has bought some in for me.
    There is, however, a marvellous smokers shop in Royston, which has all manner of 'baccy, including Vanilla, coffee and rum flavours.
  12. My local Indian shop has done the same for me - they get bonus points for stocking "Commando" comics as well, the ideal companion for pipe smoking..
  13. I spent 22 years as a pipe smoking Tom,I got the same pension as the RSM :)
  14. You are The Rat and I claim my £5.
  15. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    What a wondrous shop! I can't get 'Commando' anywhere, although I was given a bound collection for Xmas. the 'D-Day Special'