Piles. Go on, take the piss.

Right, just had a minor case of piles over a fairly strenuous course, which cleared up pretty quickly after shoving a pill the size of a .45 up my rickter. Apparently they were caused by dehydration, lack of decent food (thank you PAYD) and carrying heavy weights. My questions are:

1. what is the army policy towards piles? Especially towards someone who is still in training?

2. what is the possability of them returning? I'm about to head off on another lengthy strenuous course and would be happy to hear that as long as I take care of my rickter it wont be back.

feel free to take the piss, but when you've stopped laughing could I get some advice?
You'll be issued with a "pile cushion", which is a sliver of foam-rubber you shove into the nick of yer arse and which has a circular cut-out at ringpiece height to nestle yer piles in. Easy, innit?



Terribly sorry to hear this. Of course it isn't a laughing matter and fairly painful. Just remember that they shouldn't extend more than two centimeters beyond the rear, best to tuck them in, you see, or try larger denims.

More sensible
Go see an MO/GP and don't expect any sort of vaguely sensible answer on here. You are (remember) literally talking out of (or more accurately about) your arse.

And the good news is that this year looks like being a really good grape harvest. And the bad news is that if anybody shows any genuine concern, the piles will be the least of your worries.
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