Pigs are worth it!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by a_nony_mouse, Feb 21, 2008.

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  1. No this isn't a reference to those traumatic nights spent with those you wouldn't look at sober :wink:

    They're planning to save the pig industry by recording 'Stand by Your Ham' based on the Tammy Wynette's 'Stand by Your Man'. Can't see this working but who knows... could be a Eurovision winner. Of course there will be the usual uproar from those that avoid the bacon buttie on religious grounds.

    http://business.timesonline.co.uk/tol/business/industry_sectors/consumer_goods/article3405947.ece
     

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  2. Don't believe you mate - obviously you are telling porkies..
     
  3. Thats really taking the bacon
     
  4. Hamming it up further.........

    Two Irishmen, went out one day and each bought a pig.

    When they got home, Paddy turned to Paddy and said, "Paddy, me ol' mate, how we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"

    Paddy says "Well Paddy, I'll cut one a ta' ears off my fookin pig, and ten we can tell 'em apart"

    "Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

    This worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy stormed into the house.

    "Paddy" he said "Your fookin pig has chewed the ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with on one ear each. How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"

    "Well Paddy" said Paddy "I'll cut ta other ear off my fookin pig. Ten we'll av two fookin pigs and only one of them will avan ear"

    "Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

    Again this worked fine until a couple of weeks later when Paddy again stormed into the house.

    "Paddy" he said "Your fookin pig has chewed the other ear offa my fookin pig. Now we got two fookin pigs with no fookin ears!"

    "How we gonna tell who owns which fookin pig?"

    "Ah tis is serious, Paddy" said Paddy "I'll tell ya what I'll do. I'll cut ta tail offa my fookin pig, ten we'll av two fookin pigs with no fookin ears and only one fookin tail."

    "Ah tat'd be grand" says Paddy.

    Another couple of weeks went by, and you guessed it, Paddy stormed into the house once more.

    "PADDY!" shouted Paddy "YOUR FOOKIN PIG HAS CHEWED THE FOOKIN TAIL OFFA MY FOOKIN PIG AND NOW WE GOT TOW FOOKIN PIGS WITH NO FOOKIN EARS AND NO FOOKIN TAILS !! HOW THE FOOK ARE WE EVER GONNA FOOKIN TELL 'EM APART?!"

    "Ah fook it!" says Paddy "How's about you have the black one, and I'll have the white one."

    Taxi! :D
     
  5. The in-laws keep a couple of pigs and I've found them to be remarkably intelligent, at least the equal of most dogs I've met. They're also very loyal, friendly, incredibly sensitive to emotion and possessed of an almost human sense of humour.

    Fcuking tasty, as well.
     
  6. The in-laws or the pigs?
     
  7. Well, one of the aunts is not bad for her age.

    Oh right, the intelligence and that - sorry. That too.
     
  8. And just how much time are you spending with these pigs :wink:
     
  9. About 10mins each side, under a medium grill.
     
  10. A dog looks at you as though you are the master.
    A cat looks at you as if it is the master.
    With a pig - you get an equal!

    Winston Churchill.