Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by B_AND_T, Nov 21, 2008.

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  1. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    During a coughing fit this morning I managed to hawk up a rather crunchy lump of phlegm.

    Is this normal?
  2. That'll be dried sperm, then. Entirely normal in the circumstances (providing it is not three toed sloth j1zz)
  3. depends on how may Park Drive you get through in a day ;p
  4. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Lucky Strike for me!
  5. Seems you've just got weak lungs. By upping your intake to around 40 Chinese counterfeit Benny & Hennies a day you should be able to ensure that your lungs are properly coated in a layer of thick viscous tar thereby allowing no 'oysters' to escape. :D

    Unless of course you really are coughing up three toed sloth monk. 8O
  6. Only you know if you normally cough in the morning.
  7. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Well thanks for that! With what could be my last words. It did taste a bit funny, and it was quite chewy!
  8. On parade, RSM goes up to private female soldier and asks her name, she responds with a raspy reply, You ok he asks, she says throat feels like the bottom of a parrots cage.

    Voice from the back of the squadron

    She definately had a cockatoo in there!

    RSM got the giggles, we got marched about!
  9. Possibly best not get that engraved on your headstone. Unless you want everyone to think you were a complete gayer.

    Instead of just all the users on here
  10. Hang on to it. It was on the news yesterday that some woman had a bit of lung grown from some stem cells.

    Your phlegm could be the start of whole new set of lungs.
  11. Most likely used for IVF treatments :wink:
  12. B_AND_T

    B_AND_T LE Book Reviewer

    Actually I'm a test tube baby! My father is an eye dropper.
  13. That's not even funny, you piss taking bastard.
  14. Put it on Evilbay.People by all sorts of rubbish in there.
  15. One day at college, I was the only person in the front row in a lecture. The lecturer was about a yard in front of me. I had a tiny, throat - clearing ah-huh and to my horror out came an enormous lump of greeny brown smeg which did a lazy somersault in mid-air and then landed slap bang in the middle of my notes. None of the other 200 or so people in the room saw it but the lecturer looked like he was going to puke. I just screwed up the offending bit of paper and went on like nothing had happened.
    Is there a name for such unexpected visitors from the depths?