Phlegm

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#1
During a coughing fit this morning I managed to hawk up a rather crunchy lump of phlegm.

Is this normal?
 
#2
That'll be dried sperm, then. Entirely normal in the circumstances (providing it is not three toed sloth j1zz)
 
#3
depends on how may Park Drive you get through in a day ;p
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
mucus2 said:
depends on how may Park Drive you get through in a day ;p
Lucky Strike for me!
 
#5
Seems you've just got weak lungs. By upping your intake to around 40 Chinese counterfeit Benny & Hennies a day you should be able to ensure that your lungs are properly coated in a layer of thick viscous tar thereby allowing no 'oysters' to escape. :D

Unless of course you really are coughing up three toed sloth monk. 8O
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#7
Mr_Deputy said:
Markintime said:
B_AND_T said:
During a coughing fit this morning I managed to hawk up a rather crunchy lump of phlegm.

Is this normal?
Only you know if you normally cough in the morning.
yeah but still, that's just being overly-optimistic...he's most likely got something really bad and will die any minute now
Well thanks for that! With what could be my last words. It did taste a bit funny, and it was quite chewy!
 
A

armadillo

Guest
#8
On parade, RSM goes up to private female soldier and asks her name, she responds with a raspy reply, You ok he asks, she says throat feels like the bottom of a parrots cage.

Voice from the back of the squadron

She definately had a cockatoo in there!

RSM got the giggles, we got marched about!
 
#9
B_AND_T said:
Mr_Deputy said:
Markintime said:
B_AND_T said:
During a coughing fit this morning I managed to hawk up a rather crunchy lump of phlegm.

Is this normal?
Only you know if you normally cough in the morning.
yeah but still, that's just being overly-optimistic...he's most likely got something really bad and will die any minute now
Well thanks for that! With what could be my last words. It did taste a bit funny, and it was quite chewy!
Possibly best not get that engraved on your headstone. Unless you want everyone to think you were a complete gayer.



Instead of just all the users on here
 
#10
Hang on to it. It was on the news yesterday that some woman had a bit of lung grown from some stem cells.

Your phlegm could be the start of whole new set of lungs.
 
#11
Johnny_2hernias said:
Hang on to it. It was on the news yesterday that some woman had a bit of lung grown from some stem cells.

Your phlegm could be the start of whole new set of lungs.
Most likely used for IVF treatments :wink:
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#12
Actually I'm a test tube baby! My father is an eye dropper.
 
#13
B_AND_T said:
During a coughing fit this morning I managed to hawk up a rather crunchy lump of phlegm.

Is this normal?
That's not even funny, you piss taking bastard.
 
#15
One day at college, I was the only person in the front row in a lecture. The lecturer was about a yard in front of me. I had a tiny, throat - clearing ah-huh and to my horror out came an enormous lump of greeny brown smeg which did a lazy somersault in mid-air and then landed slap bang in the middle of my notes. None of the other 200 or so people in the room saw it but the lecturer looked like he was going to puke. I just screwed up the offending bit of paper and went on like nothing had happened.
Is there a name for such unexpected visitors from the depths?
 
#16
scrofula said:
One day at college, I was the only person in the front row in a lecture. The lecturer was about a yard in front of me. I had a tiny, throat - clearing ah-huh and to my horror out came an enormous lump of greeny brown smeg which did a lazy somersault in mid-air and then landed slap bang in the middle of my notes. None of the other 200 or so people in the room saw it but the lecturer looked like he was going to puke. I just screwed up the offending bit of paper and went on like nothing had happened.
Is there a name for such unexpected visitors from the depths?
Yes, I call them scrofula ;)
 
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