Philip & the Pontiff

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by balthazar, Sep 16, 2010.

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  1. The Pontiff arrives in Britain today and is due to be met by the Duke of Edinburgh. What might Philip say when greeting his Holiness?

    • What-o Krauty!
    • What-o Adolf!
    • So how come you're a Hun not a Spick?
    • Shall we sing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me" now or later?

  2. "Well you're a funny looking bugger aren't you fritzy, why the hell are you wearing a dress?"

    "Bloody hell Lizzy, I was right all along. He does wear a funny hat"

    "Morning Bosch. Listen, theres an old bird behind me with a few gold teeth if you want them"

    "So you're the Pope are you? Marvellous, and what do you do? Good, splendid, and you.......ooh look a squirrel"
  3. How the devil are you?
  4. "Thanks for lending the grandson that armband"

    " So when you said - "Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."
    Is that a Papal gaffe? Don't worry I do that sort of thing all the time"

    "Red shoes? Are you a puff?"
  5. I've got one of you in my bathroom. Only he's on a rope.
  6. "To be honest Klaus I've got no bloody idea who you are or what you want. I was beating the man servant when old face ache showed up and told me to meet some bloody foreigner on a farcical religious something-or-other. Don't suppose you've seen him have you? Would you like a Werthers while we wait?"
  7. "Don't suppose you've brought any of those Umpalumpas that hang around your gaff have you? They look bloody good fun."
  8. "Guten tag! Between you and me old boy I think I just soiled myself"
  9. "A large doner with chips for me......Liz, fancy anything?"
  10. maninblack

    maninblack LE Book Reviewer

    Hello old boy! Did you wolf-bag any of those orphans?
  11. In the Hitler youth were you? Can't see what the fuss is about. One of my uncles used to run the whole bloody issue.
  12. "When I speak to people from the Orient, I make faces like this..."
  13. 'I think I might have sunk some of your mates during the war'.

    'Shame you missed the Battle of Britain commemoration'.
  14. Oi Fritzy give that twunt Blair a good shafting
  15. "I'd just like to say on behalf of Her Majesty and the British Public........Two World Wars and one World Cup, do da, do da!"