Perverted couple wanted for mars mission

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fattwat, Feb 28, 2013.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. I've already emailed Kylie Minogue to see if she's available in 2018.

    OK, we're not techincally a couple, but . . .
     
  2. Negligent-Discharge

    Negligent-Discharge LE Book Reviewer

    The Scarey One's up for it if anyone wants to be locked up in a tube with her for 16 months...
     
  3. Bouillabaisse

    Bouillabaisse LE Book Reviewer

    If I donate to the project can I vote on who goes? I can think of a few people I'd like to send into space on a dodgy mission for 16 months. Especially as there's probably a good chance it won't come back
     
  4. Thats just fucking crazy... 16 months as a married couple.. I hope the blokes shed has been forwarded to a convienient asteroid to be towed behind the spaceship is all I can say. Only consolation is she wont be able to nag him into putting shelves up as drilling holes in spacship walls is never advisable.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  5. Nightmare scenario and I won't be applying. 500 days? Me and my missus can barely survive on evening together on the sofa before an argument breaks out!
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Day 423:

    I've changed my mind. I want to go home.
     
    • Like Like x 3
  7. Me and mrbee would go, but we wouldn't get anything done. All we do is stay in bed all day if we are together, occasionally get up to have a sandwich. Wouldn't be too exiting
     
  8. Would the couple have to walk to the space craft in space suits 'armaggedon' stylee?

    Or could one preplace a un-concious and gagged 'wife' in the capsule?
     
  9. You haven't be married long, have you?
     
    • Like Like x 2
  10. What, and then stand well back and watch the rocket take off from a safe distance?
     
    • Like Like x 1
  11. The bloke's wasting an opportunity. If he teamed up with the producers of "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me out of here"...
     
  12. I vote that we put Robbeaus and Lena in the capsule and fire it AT fucking Mars.
     
    • Like Like x 1
  13. That would be a good plan b if I didn't get teh 'spot'.

    Are chains likely to be too heavy? Should I downgrade to webbing straps?
     
  14. FOC, too quick otherwise.