Personal weapon?

#1
Lets face it, when you're bored out of your skull, sitting at your desk, you start looking around at stuff you could use to defend yourself, or at home, you have stuff lying around you could probably defend yourself with. Or perhaps the tool to butcher the entire office with?

Okay, maybe just me then. :lol:

But, out of anything to defend yourself with/go on a rampage with, what would it be?

My case, its the dirty great Ka-Bar that my mate brought back from the US last time he went, sitting on my shelf gathering dust... Think I'd be pretty fine with that beastie. :twisted:
 
#3
Fallschirmjager said:
I thought you could have just talked your opponent to sleep.

You boring cunt.
Likewise fuckface. :roll:
 
#4
Fallschirmjager said:
I thought you could have just talked your opponent to sleep.

You boring cunt.
Are you Max Melling? Just thought I would ask.

Personal weapon is obviously the ex wife......if we just sent them to the hotspots of the world all conflicts would stop.

I would quite happily do whatever the army wanted me to do but telling er in doors that I was going away for a week/month/year or whatever was really scarey shit!!
 
#7
Was that just a roundabout way of saying "I've got hunting knives lying around the place"?

Oddly enough I havn't, but having given it a little thought I think I'd probably sh*t in a bag and then mix small quantities into food/drink I prepared for co-workers. Then when they were suitably emaciated from the subsequent tummy-troubles I'd push them down the stairs.
 
#9
Or perhaps the tool to butcher the entire office with?
Nail clippers.

'course, I'd have to tie them to their chairs first. And be careful not to cut through their bonds.

But I could look forward to a whole day of entertainment. :)
 
#10
putteesinmyhands said:
Or perhaps the tool to butcher the entire office with?
Nail clippers.

'course, I'd have to tie them to their chairs first. And be careful not to cut through their bonds.

But I could look forward to a whole day of entertainment. :)
I do hope you will conduct a Health & Safety Assessment before doing so.

:D

Lits
 
#11
CC_TA said:
Is starting this thread just a way of you saying; 'I've got a BFOK!' or are you truly a boring fukcwit?
He's 216 Sigs so he wanted to be a Para but didn't want to be a real Para so became a Para who fucks about with boring radio equipment. He also knocks out boring threads.
 
#12
Fallschirmjager said:
CC_TA said:
Is starting this thread just a way of you saying; 'I've got a BFOK!' or are you truly a boring fukcwit?
He's 216 Sigs so he wanted to be a Para but didn't want to be a real Para so became a Para who fucks about with boring radio equipment. He also knocks out boring threads.
Nope, just a boring civvi cunt, thats looking at joing. :wink:

SteaknAlePie said:
Was that just a roundabout way of saying "I've got hunting knives lying around the place"?

Oddly enough I havn't, but having given it a little thought I think I'd probably sh*t in a bag and then mix small quantities into food/drink I prepared for co-workers. Then when they were suitably emaciated from the subsequent tummy-troubles I'd push them down the stairs.
Perhaps. Uncle Heineken is probably not helping that at all.

Hmm, so shit-in-a-bag, and nailclippers? Hmm, just me that goes for the quick option then? :twisted:
 
#13
Fallschirmjager said:
jackarrse216 said:
Are you Max Melling? Just thought I would ask.
Who is Max Melling?

Are you a craphat? Thought I'd just ask.
Max Melling was a famous German Fallschirmager who was pretty much in it from the start and actually survived the war getting captured near Berlin towards the end of the last big exercise in '45, he was also a very famous boxer of his time - I only asked because of your user name.

Hat.........No.
 
#14
jackarrse216 said:
Fallschirmjager said:
jackarrse216 said:
Are you Max Melling? Just thought I would ask.
Who is Max Melling?

Are you a craphat? Thought I'd just ask.
Max Melling was a famous German Fallschirmager who was pretty much in it from the start and actually survived the war getting captured near Berlin towards the end of the last big exercise in '45, he was also a very famous boxer of his time - I only asked because of your user name.

Hat.........No.
Cor! His history sounds so much like Max Schmeling. :D
 
#15
jackarrse216 said:
Max Melling was a famous German Fallschirmager who was pretty much in it from the start and actually survived the war getting captured near Berlin towards the end of the last big exercise in '45, he was also a very famous boxer of his time - I only asked because of your user name.

Hat.........No.
Of course. His name rings a bell now.

So you are ex-Para Regt or still serving Para Regt then?
 
#17
Fallschirmjager said:
jackarrse216 said:
Max Melling was a famous German Fallschirmager who was pretty much in it from the start and actually survived the war getting captured near Berlin towards the end of the last big exercise in '45, he was also a very famous boxer of his time - I only asked because of your user name.

Hat.........No.
Of course. His name rings a bell now.

So you are ex-Para Regt or still serving Para Regt then?
Nah ex 216 as per the user name, 83 to end of 2000 loved 5 AB but last or year or so was with 16 AS or whatever it called now - didnt like that much!
 
#18
nodandawink said:
Max Schmeling - fought Joe Louis twice in the 30's. Great fighter, better man.
My spelling of his name was wrong but you know what I meant :D
 
#20
Fallschirmjager said:
jackarrse216 said:
Nah ex 216 as per the user name, 83 to end of 2000 loved 5 AB but last or year or so was with 16 AS or whatever it called now - didnt like that much!
So you are a hat then? Did you pass out with a maroon beret?
No I didn't pass out with a Maroon beret (I'll have you know that the Royal Signals saluting test is a real bastard) but I did earn my maroon machine in '83 - Bennie Registe (black fella and I probably spelled his name wrong) and Sgt Champion were my particular mentors along with the then Sgt Maj Russel (ex 3 Para) - I think they hated breathing, let alone us.
 

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