Personal Problem

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by cpunk, Dec 19, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. cpunk

    cpunk LE Moderator

    I've recently discovered that an enjoyable way of spending an afternoon is to smear my privates with Marmite and then getting my dog to lick it off. Unfortunately, several of these privates - as well as a junior Lance Corporal - have now complained that this bullying and I have been told to stop. I've always enjoyed my own Company and this seems to be unwarranted interference: what should I do?
  2. Repost this on the "Dear Shortfuse" thread - I'm sure he'll be able to help! 8O
  3. Work on exercises, yoga etc should do, to become supple enough to lick it off yourself.
  4. I think you need to win them round with "hearts & minds" take the more personal approach. Invite them into your office and suck them off one by one, instead of letting the dog to the work :D
  5. You may want to get a posting out of Deepcut? :oops:

    The RAVC cater for all manor of dog training....
  6. which company is that u enjoy - a b or c coy gay gordons ??
  7. ... you could try getting yourself a girl/boy friend you sick cnut.

    (Marmite! - poor dog).
  8. try peanut butter or honey - marmite isn't to everyone's taste......

    alternatively, organise some naked roll-mat fighting while you dress as a woman and knock out anyone not deemed to be putting in enough effort.......
  9. You sick sick sick barsteward.Making your dog lick marmite off your knob is disgraceful.

    Have you ever thought of using sour cream and getting the cat to do it instead?
    The tongue is rougher and gives greater pleasure. :D
  10. Could i get a posting into your unit please, i am quite partial to a bit of marmite
  11. Tough love is the only way forward.

    Why not test their/your mettle by introducing an element of danger. Blindfold the privates/yourself, smear the tackle in marmite/chappy as usual and then at random whilst deeply engrossed in fellatio smash the dog firmly on the head with a full bottle of Newcastle Brown ale and hope it doesn't rip the knob off at the stump. Repeat as necessary