A friend of the missus has found her last 3 boyfriends using online dating and/or personal ads. She writes such phrases as "cuddly personality", "trustworthy", "likes good food" and all that other bollocks. What kind of limp-wristed cnut replies to ads like that? This got me thinking; what would be the perfect personal ad? Name: Gloria Stits About me: Nice breasts. Can suck a golf ball through a hosepipe. Partial to a bit of backdoor action. Fit best friend with open relationship. Can cook a mean fry-up and make a cracking brew. Likes: C0ck. Eating out female friends infront of partner. Only eating when BMI drops below 21. Letting any boyfriend watch topgear, because despite seeing it before he likes it, and no he doesn't want to watch "property ladder". Dislikes: free thought for women. The vote, for women. Spending boyfriends money. Have I forgotten anything?