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Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by brummieboy1, Sep 16, 2010.

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  1. Was watching the Midlands News on BBC and Claire Short was on. She has got teeth that are so brown, they are almost attractive. If she takes so little trouble over parts that can be seen, what does her clunge look like?
  2. A miners armpit i'm guessing!
  3. Yeah, I really should have a shower. :blush:
  4. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

  5. I have absolutely no interest in what this vile witch's clapper looks like. I wouldn't touch her with a taser.

    If I was to hazzard a guess a what it resembled, I would say it would be like a tramps beard. Complete with bits of old food and that white smeg that gathers at the corner of your mouth when your thirsty. As for the smell, I imagine it would be something like death.
  6. Things I can't get right? Well to be honist very few things. I seem to have a naturel abiltery just to do evrything good.

    As for naked pics of the wife, see previous comments about Ms Short.......Wait thats one thing I fucked up.
  7. Roadkill i imagine....
  8. A badly packed gyros with Zatziki dribbling out the ends and too much salad!
  9. I'm offshore West Africa and we are constantly reminding people about the basics of personal hygene!!
    We have a 24 hour laundry for all your gear, work & personal; 24 hour hot & cold water, one shower & toilet between two folks sharing a cabin, so no reason to be minging. We have one female Lab technician who doesn't look too bad but jeez when she's working in the Lab it's a short visit for anyone who has to go in; when she comes in my office, I have to take a break immediately afterwards and also get the air freshener out.

    Unfortunately when we raise these issues we are accused of being Racist! This is the standard reply to any issues, lazy, poor timekeeping (starting time only), useless bastard, etc.

    How does one tell somebody they're honking in a diplomatic way? (other than donning my S6 everytime they come close)
  10. Tell them they smell of butter...wait, wrong continent.
  11. Claire Short is the most disgusting person I never met. Back around the turn of the century we had some correspondence with her concerning DFID and corruption. Pointless exercise, she is exactly the same as Blair and Brown. I hope her teeth fall in and her cunt falls off.
  12. How about giving her a 'Gift' of poncey girlie smellies, then compliment her on how she smells when she walks in the next day. Seems the nicest way of goin about it. She might just twig when she's handed a bar of soap tbh.
  13. They get as much soap as they want, as long as they don't take it off the installation. You can lead a horse to water but how do you get it to take a bath?
  14. I had to do this a couple of weeks ago to a 64 year old female member of staff, who lives alone with a family of cats, smokes and seems to have a soap and detergent allergy.
    I should point out that I work for a large public utility which is subdivided into "Trusts" and as such had tried the softly softly approach, lecturing all staff on Personal Hygiene as part of a Food Safety lecture, offering her support through her PDP and ensuring the ahem hospital laundry will accept her personal dhobeying as well as Catering Uniform. Still No Joy.............

    When the Associate Director of Facilities saw her sat outside the Main Gate Smoking and thought she was a service user, I thought enough is enough.

    " need to see you in my office after your break"........She got there before me.

    " Sit Down, ******, Do you know who that man was who was walking in a little while with the Facilities Manager?"
    "No" she says, I told her and said he thought you were a Service User, "Oh" she says.

    Here is the diplomatic bit, "Well, ****** other members of staff have commented about you recently, complaining that you smell", "Oh" she says, "Yes" say I, on a roll now its out in the open, "What laundry facilities do you have? Do you have a shower at home? You can use the ones here you know"

    This went on in a similar vein for about 10 minutes, then she went away to be seen later talking animatedly to another member of staff, who was backing away, but, hadn't noticed it was into a corner.

    She seems to have made a definite effort now, which has been commented in by others.

    So the way ahead is "Tell em they smell" You could always offer to scrub her back for her........Istopped well short of that idea, but, now have a horrible image
  15. Get in there with her.