Perry Mason tales

Discussion in 'The ARRSE Hole' started by OldChap, Jul 18, 2004.

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  1. Are there any Guardsmen or anyone who's done public duties out of Hounslow out there with some good Perry Mason stories? I do of course refer to the former GSM, not the TV series.

    The best I've heard is from Di's funeral when, during a rehearsal for the pallbearers in Westminster Abbey, Perry shouted up at the noisy BBC sound engineers 'What the shaggin' hell do you people think you're fcuking doing? I'm trying to have fcuking rehearsal here...'
  2. GSM Perry Mason...The epitome of all that was once great and good in our Armed Forces. Scary man for a very good reason! The man was born for the job. Who's doing it now?

    I unfortunately know a few ex 'marching round bits of London’s finest Tarmac' types and shall ask if they have any pearls of wisdom ref God like figure!
  3. He most certainly has secured his place in military folklore. Not a man to fall out with.
  4. Well now that Mr Mason's stepped off his replacement is Billy 'Bonkers' Mott of the Welsh Guards' Mott clan. All four brothers Welsh Guards warrant officers in various posts, I believe. I hear that Billy Bonkers is doing a decent job up in town.

    One good Perry tale is when he called into his office the various Regimental Sergeants-Major and drill sergeants before a troop for a briefing. He sat behind his desk in his blues, giving them a bit of spiel, then stood up to wonder around his office, at which point they saw that he wasn't wearing any trousers. He continued to brief them in this state until his orderly arrived clutching the newly pressed trousers and helped him into them.