Pensions: An Alternative Plan

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Legs, Jul 31, 2012.

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  1. All our pensions are being eroded, stolen, stretched, manipulated etc. I have a plan... Everyone who is within 12 months of gaining their pension is forced to make a choice.

    Large, healthy pension, but with an automatic life termination at, say 75 years old. It's not as if 75 isn't a fair innings is it?


    Reduced pension for as long as you naturally live. That could be as long as 100 years old or more.

    So you live a shorter but richer life or gamble on a long life but with less cash per month.

    Or perhaps I shouldn't drink so much.
  2. Fuck it, it's not as if you'll be able to remember much beyond 75 anyway - at least not if you've spent your life doing anything worth remembering. I'm in.

    Besides, think how much the Queen will save on telegram costs. It's your patriotic duty!
  3. The Bett report had a good idea:

    To give the individual the opportunity to cash in his entire pension fund:

    The MoD rejected the idea because people would just piss it up against the wall (my words). Yeah…too right.

    But in reality so many would cash it in the pension fun would dry up within a couple of years.

    Bett also recommended that at the end of each year, you get the chance to sell back any unused leave to the Army at your daily rate of pay………can you imagine how big the 34 bn black hole would be if that had went through!
  4. Christ! I'd be minted!
  5. So we're looking at either the soylent green pension or eating cat food at age 76?
  6. It works for me!

    It's simple. I'd rather live a full, but slightly shorter life and be able to afford to enjoy it than be a wrinkled old hag who needs someone to remind her when it's time to go to the toilet. Quality of life, not quantity of years.

  7. Until you get to 74 & a bit, enjoying a good time?
  8. Easy enough to say now but when (if) you reach 74 I would bet all of your pension that you would much rather carry on living than the alternative.
  9. Then it'll be up to you, Steven, to hunt me down and put the bullet though my brain.

    Tell you what; make the hunt a Prime Time TV show. Give the 74 years 364 day old 7 days to evade the hunters. If they live - they keep their pension. If they don't - TV ratings winner!
  10. Logan's Waddle?
  11. Large sliding bribe to leave the UK at 50-65 and forfeit all claims on the system.

    Sign that waver granddad, here's 20K, off you trot to fuck up some other countries demographic profile, because you really ain't wanted here my old son. Extra bonus for the ladies as the old trouts live longer.

    I'd call it the Patriots Won't Be A Burden On Blighty initiative or Bed-blockers Begone for the younger audience. Ad campaign shaming traitorous stay at home crumblies with blame for schools and hospitals closing. Pointing out how much better the state pension is in other bits of the EU, look at how lovely the Black Forests is, its full of people your age and hardly any annoying kids.

    You get 20% take up PA and that's pensions fixed, you could even maintain the same miserly level. And the NHS savings will be huge enough to expand the service. All those big single occupancy dwellings are suddenly on the market, solving the housing crisis.

    And as its EU partners already youth starved economies sink under the grumbling grey tide the UK PLC can competitively surge ahead. You'd also be able to get round Tesco at a decent pace.