Pension Problem Solved

I was cooking haggis this evening when I had a brain wave. We have loads of OAP's in need of extra cash to heat their homes and to eat, and we also have a shed loads unemployable free loaders. Each set of people get a hand out from the Government.

I think Pensioners should be able to slot free loaders and collect 50% of their targets dole money. This would increase the Pensioners income, reduce unemployment and motivate job hunting at no extra cost to the tax payer!

A part from the whole "It's murder" bit, it's a sound idea.

 

Just watch out if a little old lady offers you a Wearthers Original laced with arsenic!

 

Indeed. And with so many of the WW2/NS generation now retired, the necessary skills are already in place.

Having said that, it's a bit much asking my gran to apply proper marksmanship principles with a .303 at her age. Perhaps some form of wheelchair WMIK?

 

Its not really murder - just culling of deadwood.

 

I'll have to seriously consider this when I retire and become an OAP soon

I'm sure that my formerly well honed trained killer skills will return?

Like sex, skiing or riding a bike right?

Once done u never forget?

 

Where did you get your haggis

 

How about the other way around? And why did that idea pop up with the haggis? I think we should be told......!

Litotes

 

Now lets take this a bit further. Old 432, old BREN or LMG on top - Chav Hunting!

Boxheads and Japs pay a fortune for a decent set of antlers so how much is a Chav head complete with back to front Burberry baseball cap going to fetch? Any City Centre will do and with a decent hotel nearby the complete package will be a piece of piss.

It will also create employment - REME VM, POL storeman, track bashers, armourers, decapitators, embalmers etc, etc.

 

Excellent idea and just think, in the future less pensioners (and in the present less chav kids). Win win for all.

 

W.M Christie
186, Bruntsfield Place, Edinburgh, Midlothian EH10 4DF
Tel: 0131 229 3807

 

I'm not sure, it may have had some thing to do with the fact I had a big feck off kitcken knife in my hand and was thinking of the Chavs I saw on the bus on my way home.

 

I like it , time to draw up a buisiness plan and apply for a lottery grant then .

WW

 

It will also free up a lot of housing to.

Any ideas on how they OAP's can confirm a kill. A pair of years will big glass like diamond ear rings in them or just a hand wearing 1 carrot gold rings.

 

Head hanging from their fake chav chain with burbury cap on.