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I the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following

I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge headfirst into everything I do
I do not get weekends or public holidays off
I work in a damp environment
I work in a dark place that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects your request for the following
You do not work 8 hours straight.
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting
You do not take initiative- you need to be pressured and stimulated
to start working.
You leave the work place rather messy after your shift.
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as
protective clothing.
You will retire well before you are 65.
You are unable to work double shifts.
You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed
assigned task
and if that were not all,
You have been constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying

suspicious-looking bags


The Management :p

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