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Penis Amputated... Ouch!!

If somebody put Bogsy O'Liar in a bottle, would that be the same as amputating a cock?
 
Diddums O'Fuckwit having a little cry again.


Obviously run out of tramp jizz to gargle.
 
Years ago, I watched a film about Australian troops in Vietnam. It was their padre's birthday, and they presented him with a wanking machine, for which he was thankful.

This consisting of a shoe-box, with a wire coat-hanger threaded through, and bent into a handle on the outside. There was a hole about two inches diameter at one end. The inside had a cupla feathers attached to the wire, and the user can attain maximum effect, by inserting tool into hole, and winding the handle.

I daresay the Americans and even the Vietnamese had their own similar devices to beat the loneliness and boredom.
 
He won't be able to 'Dip his Wick' no longer 'cos it aint no long(er).....that sound like the title for a song coming on....:rolleyes:
 

Kirkz

LE
Years ago, I watched a film about Australian troops in Vietnam. It was their padre's birthday, and they presented him with a wanking machine, for which he was thankful.

This consisting of a shoe-box, with a wire coat-hanger threaded through, and bent into a handle on the outside. There was a hole about two inches diameter at one end. The inside had a cupla feathers attached to the wire, and the user can attain maximum effect, by inserting tool into hole, and winding the handle.

I daresay the Americans and even the Vietnamese had their own similar devices to beat the loneliness and boredom.
Was it "The Odd Angry Shot"?
 
Was it "The Odd Angry Shot"?

With the Padre's classic line of "fellas, this is without a doubt the best wanking machine I've ever seen"!
 
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Kirkz

LE
With the Padre's classic line of "fellas, this is without a doubt the beast wanking machine I've ever seen"!
"What's your names"?
"Grey, Green , Brown and Oakover"
"How do you spell that?"
O a k over"!
 
With the Padre's classic line of "fellas, this is without a doubt the best wanking machine I've ever seen"!

I don't remember the name, but the padres defo said that. I have only seen the film that once, in the mid-80s, back when I had ear and nose rings, not grenade-rings, and the only green I wore was the streak of hair down the centre of my shaven head.
 

Top_Crab

Old-Salt
A friend of mine told me that 'Fleshlights' are super, but they require a diligent cleaning regime otherwise moulds could develop, leading to cock rot. As for cock rings, the ones with a magnetic quick release are the safest & obviate the possibility of facing the angle grinder.
 
I don't remember the name, but the padres defo said that. I have only seen the film that once, in the mid-80s, back when I had ear and nose rings, not grenade-rings, and the only green I wore was the streak of hair down the centre of my shaven head.

Oh I know what padres are like having played poker against a couple of them, taking $50 off the scouse padre at the OMLT in Bastion back in 2009, I was subject to quite a explosive outburst which consisted of "Jim, you fücking cünt - do that again and I'll break your fücking legs.". This was despite the fact that I was 20 years younger, 5 stone heavier, built like a brick sh!thouse and 6 inches taller than him.
 
A friend of mine told me that 'Fleshlights' are super, but they require a diligent cleaning regime otherwise moulds could develop, leading to cock rot. As for cock rings, the ones with a magnetic quick release are the safest & obviate the possibility of facing the angle grinder.

well, he could try the combination of anvil, cold chisel and sledgehammer instead.
 
If any arrsers find their genitals accidentally stuck in any objects I have a small engineering workshop, understanding and confidentiality is assured.

You dirty fucking swine.
 
If any arrsers find their genitals accidentally stuck in any objects I have a small engineering workshop, understanding and confidentiality is assured.

You dirty ******* swine.

Where is said workshop?

A er, friend was asking like.
 
What a knob.

Or rather, what knob?
 
Longkesh 1979. George, an avionics tech who was inordinately proud of his tackle, decided to impress the slappers at the Dog Unit disco with a photo of his throbbing dïck in a vice (I never said this had to make sense).
So George has his dïck in the vice, posing for photo's (everyone is pïssed at this point), when Art/Av appears at the far end of the hangar. Everyone scarpers. Except George. Because George is avionics and doesn't know which way to turn the handle and crushes his dïck...
No, we didn't laugh. Not a bit.
 

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