• ARRSE have partnered with Armadillo Merino to bring you an ARRSE exclusive, generous discount offer on their full price range.
    To keep you warm with the best of Merino gear, visit www.armadillomerino.co.uk and use the code: NEWARRSE40 at the checkout to get 40% off!
    This superb deal has been generously offered to us by Armadillo Merino and is valid until midnight on the the 28th of February.

Peeing in the shower

Do you pee in the shower?

  • Of course doesn't everyone??

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Only if I'm in there alone

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Not only do I pee but I take a dump in the shower and kick it round till it disappears

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#2
Sorry Miz, (control yourself !) but it is a bone question.

It's like wnaking, everybody does it but only the enlightened will admit to it.

A better question would be who amongst the distaff will admit to having a dump in the shower & kicking it around until it disappears.
 
#5
Cutaway said:
Sorry Miz, (control yourself !) but it is a bone question.

It's like wnaking, everybody does it but only the enlightened will admit to it.

A better question would be who amongst the distaff will admit to having a dump in the shower & kicking it around until it disappears.
NOVEL!!
 
#6
Actually cuts' (no I shan't control myself!) poll question is much better, and will no doubt make for a truer indication of the quality of ARRSE users :D If one of the mods would be so kind as to add the option

"Not only do I pee but I take a dump in the shower and kick it round till it disappears"


Just so I don't bloody double post or something equally as idiotic :lol:

Not that I ever do that.... :lol: :wink:
 
#7
mizkrissi said:
Actually cuts' (no I shan't control myself!) poll question is much better, and will no doubt make for a truer indication of the quality of ARRSE users :D If one of the mods would be so kind as to add the option

"Not only do I pee but I take a dump in the shower and kick it round till it disappears"


Just so I don't bloody double post or something equally as idiotic :lol:

Not that I ever do that.... :lol: :wink:

:wink:
 
#8
for those of you that do the 3rd option,
please dont use the nail brush to push turd down plug hole, especially if you are in a shared bathroom place, someone else may have to clean their nails. they may also bite them... :wink:
 
#10
Cutaway said:
Sorry Miz, (control yourself !) but it is a bone question.

It's like wnaking, everybody does it but only the enlightened will admit to it.

A better question would be who amongst the distaff will admit to having a dump in the shower & kicking it around until it disappears.
Cuts.

I'm curious have you tried "fingerpainting" in the shower yet?

And if so how do you manage to get your peanut and carrot frescoes to stay stuck to the tiles?
 

Cutaway

LE
Kit Reviewer
#11
Duck Dodgers said:
Cuts.

I'm curious have you tried "fingerpainting" in the shower yet?

And if so how do you manage to get your peanut and carrot frescoes to stay stuck to the tiles?[/color]
It's not called fingerpainting actually, it's 'Digital Art in Biodegradable Media' if you must know ! Abbreviated to DAB.

Reference the peanuts & carrots, I have been experimenting recently and will shortly be writing up the results in this forum.
 
#12
Few years ago I was invited to a squaddie wedding in Plymouth. Rocked up the day before for the stag do and a fine time was had be everyone.

My mucker who was getting married had booked me into a pretty basic B&B somewhere near where the wedding was taking place. (fcuked if I can remember where it was though). Now when I say basic, it wasn't that bad really - the room had a TV and a shower, but no toilet! There was a toilet but that was in the corridor and shared by about 4 rooms on that floor.

Anyway I wake up the morning after the stag night feeling remarkably chipper, which should have been the first sign as I had drunk enough lager and vodka the night before to kill a small buffalo, and decided to have a nice leisurely time getting ready for the wedding.

So I turn the shower on and wait for it to get nice and hot before getting in. Two minutes later, with absolutely no warning whatsover I had what can only be termed as 'an explosive vacation' of my bowels.

There was faeces everywhere, luckily mostly confined to the shower, but it was up the walls, over my legs and feet and completely covering most of the floor of the small cubicle.

I panicked! What the fcuk am I going to do? I thought. There's nothing here to clean it up with and I was fcuked if I was going to use my towel - I might need that later. So I scraped as much of it off myself as I could, grabbed my towel, wrapped it around myself in such a way that an origami master would have been proud in order to minimise the amount of foul smelling matter that would have gone onto it and dashed out of the room, down the corridor and into the toilet.

I cleaned myself up pretty well, taking about 10 minutes and returned to my room.

As I opened the door, the stench hit me! In my haste I had left the shower running and the extremely hot water coupled with a large expanse of faecal matter had resulted in what can only be described as a 's hit cloud'. I gagged. I retched. I wondered why I hadn't packed my respirator as an essential part of preparation for this event.

I eventually steadied myself enough to turn off the shower. The good news was that it had done an incredibly thorough job of dispersing everything from the bottom of the cubicle, the bad news was that I still had this 's hit cloud' to contend with.

I closed my eyes, held my breath and darted for the window at the far end of the room, managed to open it, about turn, grab my clothes from whenst I had left them prepared the night before and run like fcuk out of the room and back into the toilet in the corridor.

I got dressed in the toilet and departed for the wedding, spending many happy hours getting drunk on the free beer.

On returning to my room in the B&B some considerable time later I was extremely happy to find the open window had done it's job and my 's hit cloud' had now left the building.

The main point to this recollection of mine is to put peoples minds at ease - If you're ever in Plymouth and notice a nasty smell in the air, don't worry - that was me!
 
#13
Slightly off-topic but what the hell...I remember a French hotel room where the en suite was so small that the karzi had to be mounted on a swivelling bracket. 8O
 
#16
Cutaway said:
A better question would be who amongst the distaff will admit to having a dump in the shower
Have i ever told you the storey of the mystery jobbie??

Several moons ago my husband and i had been out on the mucky beer and came home steaming, can't remember where we were and cant remember getting home but...

I do remember waking up the next morning head banging and mouth dryer than MDNs Mums snatch as i stumbled into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and was just about to step in when i noticed it...

There they were, clinging to the side of the bath like an army of limpets, three perfectly formed dark brown otter pups, making their way down the plug hole & back to open waters.

As i stared in disbelief i started to recall hazy memories of trying to find the toilet in the middle of the night. By now Mr Cait had found his way to the bathroom to see what the shrieking was for....

Quick thinking and training took over as i immediately passed the buck and yelled " You filthy Cnut how could you"!

Slightly bemused (he had no recollection of the incident) & a little embarrassed he set about scrapping up the plop.

I may let him in on the truth one day :D
 
#17
cait said:
Cutaway said:
A better question would be who amongst the distaff will admit to having a dump in the shower
Have i ever told you the storey of the mystery jobbie??

Several moons ago my husband and i had been out on the mucky beer and came home steaming, can't remember where we were and cant remember getting home but...

I do remember waking up the next morning head banging and mouth dryer than MDNs Mums snatch as i stumbled into the bathroom. I turned the shower on and was just about to step in when i noticed it...

There they were, clinging to the side of the bath like an army of limpets, three perfectly formed dark brown otter pups, making their way down the plug hole & back to open waters.

As i stared in disbelief i started to recall hazy memories of trying to find the toilet in the middle of the night. By now Mr Cait had found his way to the bathroom to see what the shrieking was for....

Quick thinking and training took over as i immediately passed the buck and yelled " You filthy Cnut how could you"!

Slightly bemused (he had no recollection of the incident) & a little embarrassed he set about scrapping up the plop.

I may let him in on the truth one day :D
I dont know where that story about MDN's mums snatch comes from?
I've always found her as moist and receptive as a pint mug of warm oysters.
 
#20
Similar story to Soldier_Why

Had too much beer and too much curry. In the shower hung over. Suffered a follow through and spent the next 20 odd minutes scudging whole chunks of Lime Pickle through the plug hole!!!

Look back and laugh now though.

Especially as someone went straight in to the same shower as I came out. 8O

Peeing in the shower? It's just like peeing in your wet suit.
 

Latest Threads