Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by mizkrissi, Feb 5, 2005.
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Go on admit it the sheer bliss of peeing in the shower. It's all drains after all....
Sorry Miz, (control yourself !) but it is a bone question.
It's like wnaking, everybody does it but only the enlightened will admit to it.
A better question would be who amongst the distaff will admit to having a dump in the shower & kicking it around until it disappears.
Fair one cuts. Criticism taken on board.
Now as for dumping in the shower seen a fair bit of that in patients...
So can I admit to your question too, Cuts?
Actually cuts' (no I shan't control myself!) poll question is much better, and will no doubt make for a truer indication of the quality of ARRSE users If one of the mods would be so kind as to add the option
"Not only do I pee but I take a dump in the shower and kick it round till it disappears"
Just so I don't bloody double post or something equally as idiotic
Not that I ever do that....
for those of you that do the 3rd option,
please dont use the nail brush to push turd down plug hole, especially if you are in a shared bathroom place, someone else may have to clean their nails. they may also bite them...
An interesting twist on skiff by proxy.
I'm curious have you tried "fingerpainting" in the shower yet?
And if so how do you manage to get your peanut and carrot frescoes to stay stuck to the tiles?
It's not called fingerpainting actually, it's 'Digital Art in Biodegradable Media' if you must know ! Abbreviated to DAB.
Reference the peanuts & carrots, I have been experimenting recently and will shortly be writing up the results in this forum.
Few years ago I was invited to a squaddie wedding in Plymouth. Rocked up the day before for the stag do and a fine time was had be everyone.
My mucker who was getting married had booked me into a pretty basic B&B somewhere near where the wedding was taking place. (fcuked if I can remember where it was though). Now when I say basic, it wasn't that bad really - the room had a TV and a shower, but no toilet! There was a toilet but that was in the corridor and shared by about 4 rooms on that floor.
Anyway I wake up the morning after the stag night feeling remarkably chipper, which should have been the first sign as I had drunk enough lager and vodka the night before to kill a small buffalo, and decided to have a nice leisurely time getting ready for the wedding.
So I turn the shower on and wait for it to get nice and hot before getting in. Two minutes later, with absolutely no warning whatsover I had what can only be termed as 'an explosive vacation' of my bowels.
There was faeces everywhere, luckily mostly confined to the shower, but it was up the walls, over my legs and feet and completely covering most of the floor of the small cubicle.
I panicked! What the fcuk am I going to do? I thought. There's nothing here to clean it up with and I was fcuked if I was going to use my towel - I might need that later. So I scraped as much of it off myself as I could, grabbed my towel, wrapped it around myself in such a way that an origami master would have been proud in order to minimise the amount of foul smelling matter that would have gone onto it and dashed out of the room, down the corridor and into the toilet.
I cleaned myself up pretty well, taking about 10 minutes and returned to my room.
As I opened the door, the stench hit me! In my haste I had left the shower running and the extremely hot water coupled with a large expanse of faecal matter had resulted in what can only be described as a 's hit cloud'. I gagged. I retched. I wondered why I hadn't packed my respirator as an essential part of preparation for this event.
I eventually steadied myself enough to turn off the shower. The good news was that it had done an incredibly thorough job of dispersing everything from the bottom of the cubicle, the bad news was that I still had this 's hit cloud' to contend with.
I closed my eyes, held my breath and darted for the window at the far end of the room, managed to open it, about turn, grab my clothes from whenst I had left them prepared the night before and run like fcuk out of the room and back into the toilet in the corridor.
I got dressed in the toilet and departed for the wedding, spending many happy hours getting drunk on the free beer.
On returning to my room in the B&B some considerable time later I was extremely happy to find the open window had done it's job and my 's hit cloud' had now left the building.
The main point to this recollection of mine is to put peoples minds at ease - If you're ever in Plymouth and notice a nasty smell in the air, don't worry - that was me!
Slightly off-topic but what the hell...I remember a French hotel room where the en suite was so small that the karzi had to be mounted on a swivelling bracket.
Any room with a sink = en suite.
I routinely piss in the shower; I find it liberating, and it also toughens the feet. Never had a dump though
Hot and cold running urinal as mr miz would say
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