Pearls of wisdom or utter s.hite

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Eggbanjo, Jan 17, 2006.

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  1. I remembered a bloke giving me some advice once by using a story to prove a point, there was some deeper meaning in it somewhere but I was fecked if I could see it.

    It went something like.....not long after getting married this blokes wife cooked a sunday roast, she prepared all the veg and got the chicken out of the fridge, unwrapped it but before she put it in the oven she broke both legs off and stuffed them down the side of the bird. He thought thats odd, but never said anything. After a while he got used to eating his roast chicken with the legs seperate. Some time later he was watching her prepare the bird and asked her why she always cut the legs off. Thats the way my mums cooks them was the reply.......OK. A couple of years go by and the mother-in-law pays a rare visit, so they decide to have a roast chicken. As usual the wife is getting the scoff sorted and is about to cut off the legs......why are you doing that asks the mum......the wife is shocked, well thats they way you taught me to cook mum !!........yea but I only cut the legs off because we had such a tiny oven I couldnt the fecking thing in without taking the legs off.

    The moral being..........don't always do someting just because that the way its always been done. All I could think of while he was telling me this was......"feck me mate you married a right fecking mong"

    If you have any other old sweat advice or wise words which were basically B.OLLOCKS feel free to add.
  2. I remember my Dad telling me this perl...

    When I was 18 my Dad was a nob, when I was 25 he was ok, now I am 30 I think he's a great bloke!
  3. Hang on, some guy gave you advice in the form of a story or a parable if you will? Did this fella happen to have a beard, a t-shirt that said 'Im here - look busy'? Oh and did he have a Halo? I think you may have just witnessed the second coming of Christ, or Chuck Norris as he is more informally known.
  4. Pearl of Wisdom

    Gran mother used to baby-sit until mother heard her explaining men and premarital sex to a few friends and I aged 13.....

    Men are like shoes, you don't go into the shoe shop and buy the first pair you see without trying on a few other pairs, and you have to get used to the fact the pair you pick might not last forever, and from time to time you might borrow a friends ;)

    She wasn't asked to baby-sit again......

    Beebs :lol:
  5. Mark Twain put it better;

    When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

    Also said;
    There is nothing lower than the human race, except the French.

    In fact, a huge number of memorable quotes;
  6. A wise old lady your gran, BBC.
  7. Dad: "Jump, I'll catch you."

    Me: [jumps]

    Dad: "Let that be a lesson to you son, trust nobody!"

    I trust everybody on ARRSE of course.
  8. Not a fancy story but always a handy tip; Never end a conversation with an argument, the other person might get hit by a bus later that day.
  9. Love those, I had it all broken nose at 14 and disowned by Dad, joined up at 16 and was condemned as that alcky son, but now many years later I am suddenly cock of the north and we are bezzers, hows that work then, is it cos Im a Dad myself now? is that what it takes to prove manliness in the eyes of your father?
  10. "Lasses man, they love it up em!"

    And so do sum Cowboys acording to Ollywood.