Peace and quiet

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ciggie, Sep 19, 2010.

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  1. Really, when your nearest and dearest snorts like an underfed farm animal, what is one to do ? Although a pillow on the head is an easy answer, I don't want convictions on my cv, answers, please.....
  2. Your mother is pretending to be asleep so as to not have to deal with you.
  3. Look. Keep my mum out of this, all she would say is Bah.........bhah,bhab
  4. Self-immolation.
  5. Thick kent - immolation makes self a non-sequitur. Which for information doesn't mean leaving the garden snippers in the shed. Oh feck, I mentioned shed in a Naafi post.

    Taking someone else's coat and out the side door......
  6. Earplugs from Boots. The really expensive sort made from wax not foam. Work like a dream.
  7. Stop sleeping with unidentified farm animals?

    Sorry that should be underfed.
  8. Perhaps the cause is Obstructive Sleep Apnea. Search the internet for symptoms and see how many are present. It can be treated; I used to snore like a chainsaw!
  9. Enough of your sensible talk in the NAAFI Bar! :shakefist:

    Hey dickhead, is she grotesquely obese? Get her to lose 35kg, it worked for me. Gnaw it off her arse.
  10. Fireplace, mate, you might snore during sex, but this thread is more about how I can stop disturbing the neighbours. Who live a quarter of a mile away.
  11. Cum up her nose. It wont stop her snoring, but she may give you full marks for creative sex.
  12. Move to Darfur.
  13. Don't sleep with porkers.
  14. Sleep the sleep of the drunk. Just down a couple of 3 litre bottles of 7.5% cider and not only will you get off to a good night's sleep but you'll snore and fart so loudly she'll understand what you're going through and agree to use those sticky anti-snoring noseplaster things.
  15. Visited a service mate of mine after having treatment. In the middle of the night his missus got up to go to the kitchen. Guest room was right across from the master bedroom. She stopped, put her ear to the door and wondered if I had died. On previous visits she could hear me over her hubby's noise.

    It can be treated. Dare I say the NHS will cover it?

    I don't recall ever snoring during sex